The surprising ways I worked out I was 'three and done'

"The time I politely declined holding a friend's newborn was just one sign."

After the birth of our second child, I never had that 'done' feeling. 

My girlfriends had told me that when you know, you know. I never felt like that – in fact, it was like someone was missing from our family dynamic. A final piece of the jigsaw that wasn’t quite in place yet.

When I found out we were having a third baby (she was a beautiful surprise), I was over the moon. But after she was born, I began to understand what my friends had meant. 

You know there's that phrase, 'one and done'? Well, I got some pretty strong signs I was 'three and done'.

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I didn't feel sad about ending breastfeeding

I thought that I might feel sad when I finished breastfeeding baby number 3. She was our last child, after all, and I would never experience the magic of breastfeeding again.

But if I’m honest, I actually didn't mourn it at all. I’d been breastfeeding on and off for eight years between our three children, and I was ready to have my body back for myself.

Around the one-year mark, it just naturally came to an end. I got rid of my maternity clothes and embraced the next chapter.

Melissa is 'three and done'. Image: supplied

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I could part with the baby items

After baby number 2, my husband tried to suggest we sell all the baby stuff like the pram and bassinet. We were moving from Melbourne to regional Victoria, and we really did need to declutter.

But as I looked at the baby stuff lovingly, I said, "I'm not ready. Let's keep them just in case." I think in that moment he knew he was a goner. Needless to say all the baby paraphernalia relocated with us.

After having our third child, something surprising shifted in me. I felt closure and I was happy to get rid of it all. Up went the bassinet and cot on Marketplace, and most of the other stuff ended up at the op shop.

I don't have the urge to hold other people's babies

In recent years, some of my friends have had little ones and they’ve offered me a cuddle.

Without wanting to offend them, I’ve politely declined because I don’t really feel the urge to hold other babies any longer.

I can appreciate how cute they are, but I've had 10 years of holding my own kids and I feel a bit tapped out in that regard. Looking on is enough for me now.

Melissa loves being a mum, but three's enough. Image: Supplied

I encouraged my husband to have a vasectomy

The final tell-tale sign was that when my husband suggested getting a vasectomy, I was all for it.

I'd been using hormonal contraception for years, and I wanted to give my body a break. 

When he was about to leave for the hospital, he turned and asked if I had any regrets about him having it done. "Hell no," I said, laughing. “I’m definitely done!”

Originally published as The surprising ways I worked out I was 'three and done'