School kids that don’t have someone to play with at lunch finally will

“Regardless of their age, their race, their gender, their religion or disability, they will be welcome to sit together," says Sophie, founder of You Can Sit With Me. 

Bullying comes in many forms. 

From a push and shove to name-calling and talking behind someone’s back, it’s a horrifying experience that millions of kids face daily. 

But sometimes, bullying can look far more sinister.

School teacher Sophie Sparks realised that something needed to be done when kids approached her without a place to go during lunch. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED: Bullying, gaming and tantrums: Parents put under the spotlight in Parental Guidance

Sophie Sparks (centre) founded You Can Sit With Me in 2015. Source: Supplied

“Kids told me they had no one to play with”

“I went back into the classroom after many years,” Sophie told Kidspot. 

“I saw the same old problem - children were coming up to me all the time saying that they had no one to sit with and nobody to play with.”

“They were feeling quite isolated,” she continued. “A lot of children feeling lonely; a lot of children suffering from childhood anxiety.” 

School refusal is also on the rise, she added. 

“One reason that a lot of children feel anxious about going to school is that the school day doesn't end at three o'clock,” she explained. “Social media fires up and everything starts happening, and the children are on 24-7.” 

That’s what inspired Sophie to launch You Can Sit With Me in 2015.

“If schools are filled with empathetic children, those people can be very hard to identify if you’re feeling anxious, alone, afraid and nervous,” she said.

While many schools offer ‘buddy benches’ to those without friends to play with, she believed it was “highlighting childhood anxiety and isolation” rather than encouraging kindness. 

You Can Sit With Me aims to promote inclusivity among school kids by wearing a bright yellow wristband with the tagline printed across it. 

This acts as a signal for other kids to feel comfortable approaching someone to sit with, knowing they can talk and play without feeling anxious or isolated. 

“Regardless of their age, their race, their gender, their religion or disability, they will be welcome to sit with them,” Sophie told Kidspot. 

Currently, 900 schools across Australia have introduced the program, which offers guidelines that can be changed to reflect the school’s own standards. 

RELATED: ‘My kids won’t get phones until they’re 14... we are just going to say ‘no’’

You Can Sit With Me encourages inclusivity and empathy in schools across Australia. Source: Supplied

Tummy aches, isolation and lack of communication may be warning signs

A recent study from You Can Sit With Me, and Tip Top Bakery found that a whopping 50 per cent of Aussie parents and caregivers suspect their child is being bullied. 

There are many ways bullying can impact a kid’s health, and parents will “know very quickly” when their behaviour starts to change. 

Such behaviour can include “tummy aches” or “not wanting to go to school in the morning”, Sophie explained. 

“It might be coming home with a full lunchbox ... it might be an older child who is becoming withdrawn and wanting to eat their dinner in their bedroom,” she added. 

She advised parents to watch if kids are “spending too much time on their phones” or “not communicating at all” with others. 

In fact, she recommends avoiding giving a child under 12 a phone at all unless they really need it. “They don't need to be using Instagram or TikTok or any of those things,” she said. 

If a child is adamant about using social media, parents should “make some really wise decisions” about how they can control it. 

RELATED: 'Even if your voice shakes, it's important to speak up and seek help'

More than 900 schools across the country have introduced the program. Source: Supplied

Parents encouraged to “check in” with kids regularly

The study found that 55 per cent of school kids have the confidence to stand up for themselves when they’re being bullied. 

Sadly, that means that 45 per cent don’t, even if parents have given them the right tools to approach the situation.

In this case, Sophie recommends schools and parents actively engage in empathetic training to help others find the confidence to speak up.  

The same goes if a parent suspects their child is a bully. 

According to Sophie, You Can Sit With Me can help discourage those who exhibit “non-inclusive behaviour” thanks to the inclusive and empathetic lessons being taught. 

Repeating the message of kindness and inclusivity can influence a kid who is showing such behaviour to change so they can be included in the fun. 

“It's like that old sort of Black Sheep wants to come along and join the herd,” she told Kidspot. 

If parents fear their child is going through something, Sophie recommends “checking in” with them regularly. 

“Asking very general open questions” is a great place to begin. 

This way, “they have a place where you can sit there and listen and start engaging in a very gentle and open conversation,” she said. 

If all else fails, refer to their mantra: "Bullying is not ok. Speak up, speak out and seek help." 

You can learn more about You Can Sit With Me by checking out their website.

Originally published as School kids that don’t have someone to play with at lunch finally will