PAUL'S POV: Father’s Day can feel like a performance review

"I actually feel a bit nervous - have I been a good enough dad?"

Serenity for a day. That’s what I told my kids I’d like this Father’s Day.

I don’t need more socks, ties or undies, thanks. Just one day without bickering, kids refusing to eat what’s on their plate or to pick things up off the floor is all the gift I need. 

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"Have I been a good enough dad?"

I’m pretty sure I’ve asked for that exact same thing from my now 11-year-old twins on the first Sunday in September for the past several years but, to my recollection, their promised peace has never really lasted beyond 9am.  

Of course, I'm sort of joking, but this bit is serious: Father’s Day often feels to me a bit like a parental performance review.

It's not about what they give me, but what I've given them.

Once a year we look back at our actions over the last 12 months, examine the products of our labours and ask ourselves, ‘have I been a good dad?’ 

Paul with his dad, brother and son watching the Rabbitohs play the Jets in the Tom Kirk Cup. Image: supplied

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"My marker of how this dad gig is going"

Was I too tough or too lenient on device time? Did I strike the right balance between good eating and exercise habits versus the occasional fast-food indulgence?

More importantly, are my kids happy people with good friends around them? 

This year, though, I’ve been approaching Father’s Day a little differently.  

This year I’ve been paying more deliberate attention to the pleasant surprises as a marker of how this dad gig is going.

Just a few weeks ago my daughter, usually reluctant to perform in front of a crowd, sang with her school in front of an audience of several thousand people as part of the Festival of Choral Music at the Sydney Opera House.  

The week before she was part of a school band competing in the Australian School Band and Orchestra Festival. And over the last month or so, she and a few friends have taught themselves to crochet just by watching YouTube videos. 

Meanwhile my son, who also competed with the band, is playing some of the best basketball of his life, along the way demonstrating resilience I didn’t know he had, and has become a strong indoor climber, devoting up to six hours a week to his new sport! 

So, while the bath towels are not yet back in the bathroom, homework regularly falls by the wayside and everyone always seems to need ‘Five more minutes’ when device time is up, there is a lot to be thankful for. 

They've come so far... And I guess that means I've done some things right to make note of in my performance review on Father's Day?

In that case, maybe what I really deserve this Sunday is just spending time with my kids doing what they love - because that's my favourite thing to do.

And let's face it, I won't get much more than a handful of Father's Days like that again. 

PS: Just quietly, I also wouldn’t say no to couple of hours at Bunnings and a sausage sanger. 

Originally published as PAUL'S POV: Father’s Day can feel like a performance review