The horrifying find in my teen's room that made me finally lose it

"I've now done something she'll hate me for..."

It's a tale as old as time: teen and parent battle over the state of teen's bedroom.

Usually, someone eventually folds. Or completely loses the plot.

In this story, posted in an online parenting group this week, it's the mum who snaps and does something that will likely scar her teen daughter for life.

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"Her room is a total shit hole"

The mum writes: "Am beyond exasperated with DD (16) - her room is a shit hole and I mean a TOTAL shit hole.

"Filthy clothes everywhere, on floor, under bed, stuffed back in with clean clothes. Blood-stained knickers!

"Food and wrappers everywhere, drinking glasses - two of which were smashed. Make up literally everywhere, tops of it all, marked all over bedding."

The mum explains that her daughter has exams this month, and she's concerned about how she will concentrate in the chaos.

"School work tossed everywhere, random sheets of work crumpled and torn.

"On top of it all she constantly takes my things - have found two pairs of my trainers with laces missing (she uses them as belts) perfume under bed, used up and missing its lid, my make up ruined."

Image: iStock/Google

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"I lost the plot this afternoon"

The mum explains that she finally snapped.

"I asked, pleaded, threatened, too many times and I lost the plot this afternoon. When I went in there to get something, I stood in some broken glass. I retrieved everything that was mine and then proceeded to get a load of bin bags and throw everything that was broken, dirty, clearly not given a shit about in bin bags.

"There are five full bags which are waiting to be put out for rubbish."

The frustrated mum adds that her daughter has an insane shopping habit, so accrues items fast.

"I am not particularly house proud, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Waiting for shit to hit the fan when she gets back from work..."

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"Way to ruin your relationship with your daughter"

The advice given to the mum varied between support and admonishment.

"This kind of thing will stay with her forever. I would be rushing to put it all back right now if I were you. You are the adult, and she needs your support," read one comment.

The person added, "Way to ruin your relationship with your daughter."

Then there was this opposite perspective: "What a dirty little toad! You did the right thing!"

This reader shared her personal experience, writing, "I still remember my mum doing this when I was 15 and I was broadly tidy. I just hadn't tidied at the precise time she said. It was an immature reaction on her part.

She then advised, "You'd be much better off talking with your DD."

Finally, this mum suggested a balanced approach to de-escalate the situation.

"She’s doing her exams. She's going to be really stressed out at the moment. You are holding her to unfair standards, and I really feel sorry for her.

"Why don’t you have a conversation with her? Take her for a Starbucks when she’s finished school one night, and gently but firmly bring it up then that you are feeling exasperated by how messy her room is and say it cannot continue.

"Treat her like an adult. That would be my advice. It will go a long way."

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Originally published as The horrifying find in my teen's room that made me finally lose it