My ‘spoiled’ 4yo is having a birthday party - but I’ve got one strict rule

Not everyone understood why the mother made this request. What would you do?

Laura Jackel

3 min read

July 3, 2024 - 8:49PM

'my kids' party theme goes against this mum's beliefs'

Parenting

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As the weekend once again rolls around, so too does another round of kids parties for parents to prepare for.

The question of what and how much to spend on gifts while traipsing to the shops to search for it, is why 'no gifts parties' are trending and have been for years.

On the invitation, host parents request a cash amount, such as a ‘fiver’ or a ‘tenner’ to go towards a toy the child is saving for meaning that guests just need to pop a note in with the card. Not only does it save guests having to shop, it prevents a pile up of unnecessary and unwanted toys.

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Image: iStock.

'No gift' parties are trending

While ‘no gift parties’ seem like a good idea for mum or dad and the environment, what about the birthday child?

A mum in the Facebook Group 'Mums on a BUDGET' requested the advice of her fellow parents on this topic.

“My 4yo is having a birthday party this year,” she began her recent post.

“I wanted opinions on if it is rude to ask for no gift or money.

“For context, I consider my children to be very spoiled. We are always heading away on holidays and doing special activities and they honestly have soooo many toys.

“Our family even comment on how many toys the kids have and say we need to do a cull.”

The mum explains that while her daughter will be spoilt, she wanted to explain her decision to the guests by writing something on the invite.

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"It's a fiver party!"

She asked her Facebook friends to review the following:

“It’s a fiver party!

Your presence is the only present [daughter’s name] needs! We know times are tough and gifts can be expensive. Should you wish to give something to the birthday girl, please consider giving $5 that she can put towards something special.Right now she is wishing for a ‘big girl’ bike!’”

The mum then requests “no hate” and explains that her goal is not to profit from the party, rather that she just wants her to celebrate with her friends with no pressure.

The post and request for feedback drew hundreds of comments.

"A fantastic idea"

“I just recently heard about the fiver party...I think it's a fantastic idea,” said one supportive mum.

“As a Mum who goes to a party almost every weekend, I love it! It takes the stress out from thinking of a toy.”

Another adds: “I feel 100 percent the same way and have written something similar this year for my son's birthday. Even if times aren't tough we all have so much plastic kids junk and it's annoying to have to race to Kmart on the weekend before parties.”

One mum gives an alternative suggestion that if someone wants to buy a present, maybe they can choose a book.

“It's cool because people write special messages in them that your kids can look at when they're older and books are WAY easier to store!”

There are a few parents who advise less direction in terms of the cash amount, to give guests choice.

“I’d leave the part about the $5 and the bike out and just say no gifts/money required and let people choose to get something or not,” writes one mum.

With another suggesting: “ Let the party play out as normal and then declutter and sell existing items to save for the bike. Birthday and Christmas is a good time to go through toys and donate or sell some.”

"Toys are for the kids"

And of course a few comments suggest letting the child just enjoy their big day, presents and all.

“Leave it be and donate what she gets at christmas to Salvos for people in need,” says one with a second mum adding: “When it’s your birthday you are princess for the day. So let her love the experience, gifts and all. Kids grow up way too fast!”

“The toys are for the kids not for you so just let them enjoy getting gifts and opening them then for your birthday you can have nothing,” adds a third.