My son’s overweight friend won't stop eating all of our food

“It got to be too much, so I started sending him home at lunchtime, and then he will come back afterwards,” Kate lamented. 

How do you tell your kid’s friends they are crossing a line while playing at your house?

Kate has been happily letting her son’s friends come over to her house whenever they want. It’s the school holidays, so their neighbourhood is alight with children playing and hanging out, so she is more than ready to watch the kids in the area. 

However, it’s her eldest son’s friend, Lucas*, who is causing a bit of strife in her house, and she’s not sure what to do about it. 

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Lucas won't stop asking for snacks when he comes to visit. Picture: iStock

“He will ask my son to get him a snack if I say no”

Lucas is a frequent visitor to Kate’s house, coming over early in the morning and not leaving “until late afternoon/ early evening”. 

Kate has no issue with her son’s friend, calling him a “nice kid” who “plays very well” with her kids. 

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However, every time Lucas comes over, he won’t stop pestering her for food. 

At first, she happily obliged the kid, who is “almost eight years old”, offering him a snack while he happily ran back to her son’s room.  Then he came back for more. And again. 

“I have no issue providing snacks to friends,” she said on the forum. “However, it’s tiring when he comes to me every 10-20 minutes asking for something to eat.”

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The American woman explained that Lucas is from a “good family that provides very well for themselves”. 

“There isn’t a lack of food, meaning his family is well off, that they can afford meals and stuff,” she clarified.

Kate also noted that Lucas is “morbidly obese”, likely weighing between 90 and 95 kilos. “His family isn’t a big family, either,” she added. “The other siblings are skinny, but the parents are bigger.”

Not only does she “feel bad for the kid”, but she’s also beginning to feel uncomfortable constantly giving him food. 

But even when she puts her foot down and says no, he manages to find a way to eat. 

“He will ask my son to get him a snack if I say no,” she explained. “When I leave the room, he will go get himself a snack without asking.”

She recalled the time she was in the laundry folding the family’s clothes, only to return to the kitchen to discover Lucas had demolished “an entire package of cookies”. 

The non-stop snacking has become so frequent that she’s taken extreme measures to stop it. 

“It got to be too much, so I started sending him home at lunchtime, and then he will come back afterwards,” she confessed. “I also had to tell him he couldn’t come over until at least 9 am because he started showing up at 7:30.”

As someone who dislikes confrontation, Kate can’t help but feel conflicted. 

“I don’t want to hurt a child’s feelings and keep saying no, but I also don’t want to be adding to an existing problem,” she said. 

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“Offer only fruit and veg snacks!” 

People online suggested that Kate distribute healthier snacks for the kids to eat while Lucas was there. 

“Offer only fruit and veg snacks,” someone wrote. “Problem solved.”

It was the perfect solution in many people’s eyes. 

“You're being a gracious host, plus fruits and veggies are cheaper, AND he's probably not going to want your healthy snacks anyway,” another agreed. 

“At my house, we have a set time for snacks that I serve for them, and if they're still hungry after that, they can eat fruit,” a parent shared. 

“Set out whatever snacks you’re cool with them having and then inform them that once those are gone, that’s it,” read a suggestion. “End the play date when he doesn’t listen.”

A parent suggested Kate speak to Lucas’ parents. 

“[Lucas] has been coming by for longer stretches with the kids being out of school, and he gets pretty hungry,” they recommended saying. 

“I usually have some snacks around, but what do you want him to do for meals? Would you like him to head home when he's hungry, or could you send him with a lunch bag?”

However, others considered whether Lucas’ parents knew what was going on and were palming him off to Kate’s place, treating the house as a pseudo-daycare service (importantly, without payment). 

“You’re being exploited for childcare at this point, damn,” someone said. 

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My son’s overweight friend won't stop eating all of our food