My pregnancy was filled with a sense of doom, then I was diagnosed with anxiety

Elnaz opens up about her mental health struggle during her pregnancy and how she rediscovered her purpose in life.

The moment Elnaz found out she was pregnant, she didn’t quite believe it. 

In fact, she had to do seven tests just to make sure it was real. 

Living in Victoria with her partner, she found out while he was away visiting family in Ireland for Christmas.

Only a few weeks earlier, she was told to start considering freezing her eggs due to complications of PCOS. 

“I kind of just accepted that I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant,” she told Kidspot. 

Three days and seven tests later, it was confirmed - she was having a baby. “Straight away I couldn’t take the smile off my face,” she said. 

“I was so happy. I was scared. I was excited.” 

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Elnaz and her partner welcomed Kian into the world in 2022. Source: Supplied.

“Until you’ve been through it, it’s really hard to understand”

Living with depression for many years and passionate about mental health, the New Zealand native admitted she “never really understood how deep” and “dangerous” the changes in mental health can be for a woman during pregnancy. 

“Until you've been through it, it's really, really hard to understand.” 

Before having her son, Kian, she had “never ever had any experience with anxiety.”

But five or six months into her pregnancy, she was diagnosed with perinatal anxiety. 

“When I was going through the pregnancy, I really isolated myself,” she said. “The anxiety really got to me where I couldn't really leave the house unless it was to go to work.” 

She said she was also hit with “mum guilt” before Kian was born. “I didn't want to bring my son into this world where I was feeling like this,” she shared. 

It didn’t end when she had him, either. “I also had postnatal depression,” she said, which she “kind of knew” would happen. 

These changes negatively affected Elnaz. “It was very scary,” she told Kidspot. 

“There were moments of this feeling of doom; you weren't rational, and my brain just was not operating right,” she explained. “And I couldn't pull myself out of it.”

Perinatal depression and anxiety affect 23 per cent of women, according to Liptember Foundation. What’s more, one in two Australian women are currently experiencing mental illness. 

But things have started to change since she had Kian, with the support of her close network and the team at the Liptember Foundation. 

“I've never wanted to live more in my life,” she told Kidspot. “[Kian has] just given me a whole new purpose.”

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The family-of-three is one of the many families struggling with rising living costs. Source: Supplied

“It’s fair to say everyone is struggling”

It’s been nine months since she and her partner welcomed their bundle of joy into the world.

“He's just the most gorgeous little boy,” she smiled. “And he just makes me smile. He’s amazing.” 

Despite the joy she finds in being with her son, the added strain of the increasing cost of living makes life more difficult.  

“I think it’s fair to say everyone is struggling,” she said.

The family-of-three has recently moved to a new home that is more affordable. Her partner is out of the house from 7.30 in the morning to 10.30 at night and works on Saturdays to stay afloat. 

Elnaz also had to return to work earlier than expected after having Kian, meaning they have to put him in daycare most days of the week. 

“It has been tough,” she said.  

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Liptember wants to bridge the "mental health gender gap." Source: Supplied

Liptember Foundation “spotlights the mental health gender gap”

This story is one that likely resonates with millions of women across Australia. 

A new report from Liptember Foundatin found the pressure of high prices has negatively impacted 59 per cent of Australian women’s mental health. 

“With no ease to the cost of living pressures in sight, sadly, we are likely to see women’s mental health suffering as a result in the coming years,” said Luke Morris, Liptember Foundation CEO and Founder.

The foundation frequently conducts research on women’s mental health and makes a point to “spotlight the mental health gender gap”. 

According to Madhavi Nawana-Parker, Liptember Foundation Mental Health advisory panel member and clinical psychologist, Liptember’s research “cements the hormonal fluctuations” that women face throughout life. 

From puberty to pregnancy, PMDD, and menopause, all can “trigger a range of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety and PTSD,” she added. 

Liptember’s research “will help steer Australia towards looking at mental health through a gendered lens” and can help to “ultimately close the mental health gender gap.” 

Find out more about Liptember Foundation here.

Originally published as My pregnancy was filled with a sense of doom, then I was diagnosed with anxiety