My 2yo son is a 'wild handful' but he doesn't deserve to be hit... or worse

"My husband wants to spank him because that's what his parents did, and he 'turned out fine'."

One thing is universally true about parenting - there are lots of opinions about it.

Luckily, you can largely ignore what's said on the internet; unfortunately, you're sort of obliged to negotiate when you're disagreeing with the other parent of your own child.

But one mum this week has decided there's something she will no longer abide from her husband: his strict and physical disciplining of their two-year-old son.

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RELATED: Is it ever OK to discipline someone else’s kid?

"What if husband spanks two-year-old when I don’t agree?"

The mum explains:

"My son is almost three and he is a handful. But he’s not malicious, he’s just wild. He’s a cute and happy child, always smiling but yeah, always getting into stuff and needs constant supervision which drives my husband crazy."

She adds that, "He is always yelling at him and needs constant 'breaks'. My son had his biting stage which is normal, and I had been trying to correct it with redirection, but my husband kept insisting we need to 'bite him back' so he knows what it feels like."

Such a punishment is generally frowned upon by experts (and the law) these days, but the woman's husband has persisted with it.

"We would argue about it and I said NO, I absolutely do not want him biting the baby."

The mum then discovered that her wish for her child not to be physically disciplined was being ignored.

"I wasn’t home and my son bit him (he was biting when he wanted attention and I’m sure my husband was playing games on his phone ignoring him, expecting him to entertain himself).

"So my husband went ahead and bit him on the arm.

"He told me about it when I got home and I was furious. He still had teeth indentations on his arm!! They faded shortly after so he said it wasn’t 'that bad'."

The mum laments that her husband is stronger, and inflicts more hurt, than he realises. 

"He tries to tickle me and it’s literally painful, he doesn’t understand how hard he is squeezing.

"So to me it’s even more important that he never, ever lay out any sort of physical punishment- the kid is only two. This is a toddler. He can really hurt him!"

Unfortunately, there seems to be no resolution, with the husband "insisting our son needs a 'whap' when he does something wrong, and his parents keep telling him the same thing."

The mum concludes, "We have had arguments about this. I do NOT want spanking to be used as a punishment. Ever.

"It’s weird, it’s not productive in any way and it teaches zero lessons except that you can’t really ever trust your parents because they’re willing to hurt you. (Source: I was spanked.)

"He [uses] the whole 'I was spanked and I turned out fine'. (He is not fine.)"

The mum confesses that it's put so much stress on their relationship, she is reconsidering it. 

"Would I jump out if I met this guy now? Or am I just so enmeshed in this nonsense I can’t even tell what’s what anymore?"

Source: iStock

RELATED: Honey, please stop punishing ME as well as the kids

"It would be assault"

The post attracted more than 700 comments, most of which supported the mother.

One shared this sage advice: "I think people do divorce over physical punishments. Especially when they leave marks. If he did it to you it'd be DV, if he did it outside the house to an adult it’d be assault."

And there was this assessment of the situation, commenting they weren't sure if change was possible.

"I think this goes beyond having a difference of opinion on punishment. I absolutely don't agree with spanking, but I think a bigger worry for me would be your husband's inability to remain calm when your son does very normal 2yo stuff. Like maybe he needs to consider if his poor emotion regulation is really him turning out ok."

Finally, one parent was blunt about what they thought the mum should do:

"Your husband was raised this way and now repeating the pattern is what feels natural to him. You see a man with anger issues who is crossing the line into abusing his son, just like he was abused by his own parents. What will feel natural to your son when he grows up?

"I'd be taking pictures of the bite and leaving immediately because you don't want your child being taken away from you because your partner is abusing him."

Originally published as My 2yo son is a 'wild handful' but he doesn't deserve to be hit... or worse