My 14yo son's girlfriend sent him a nude: I'm telling her Christian school

"You want to get a child kicked out of school for doing something completely normal and off school grounds? Ruthless," admonished one fellow parent.

Teenagers and sexting. 

It's a sensitive topic to navigate, and it seems like every parent has a very different view on handling the matter and striking the right balance between being understanding and protective. 

One such mum who's currently dealing with this issue is Julie*, who recently found out her 14-year-old son received a nude from his girlfriend. 

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Image: IStock

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"I'm horrified she thinks it's okay to do this"

Taking to a parenting advice page on Facebook, she shared, "My 14yo son has received a highly inappropriate half-naked image of his 'girlfriend' (also 14 yrs) of two months on Instagram with a suggestive comment.

"He has not sent any of himself and I trust him 100%."

She then claims he was "innocent and naive" and "into LEGO" until now.

She continued, "I'm horrified she thinks it's okay to do this. I'm wondering how best to handle it - whether to text her and politely let her know how inappropriate it was or to advise the school, who have a strict Christian ethos/values and don't tolerate this type of thing (this girl's new to the school)."

Julie concludes her post by asking fellow parents for their advice as she "doesn't want this to continue."

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"Ruthless... you could ruin the girl's life"

The first camp of commenters pointed out to Julie that this sort of behaviour is "totally normal" for kids of this age. 

"Teenagers being teenagers," one person said, before urging Julie against letting the school know as it's "none of their business."

"They're dating. This is what girlfriends and boyfriends do in the modern age. Do not torment or bully this child because you are angry," stated someone else. 

The OP replied to that comment saying, "This is NOT what girlfriends and boyfriends who have any respect for themselves and others should be doing at 14. It's classed as child pornography and has legal implications. It's sad we live in a pornified culture where kids feel they need to be exchanging these images to feel validated."

Then this person chimed in, saying, "Why embarrass her and tell the school though? You would be surprised how many people who have children of their own now actually have sent images like that as teenagers. It’s personal and private and it is embarrassing if caught.

"Taking it to the school or even threatening that it’s illegal (as they're minors) is a whole other level of an overreaction. This is normal behavior kids are exploring sexuality and are curious. Just teach them, don’t condemn them."

And a third double-downed and said, "Wow, you want to get a 14-year-old girl kicked out of school for doing something completely normal for teens and off school grounds? Ruthless.

"I would have thought talking to the parents was enough but sure let's try to ruin the girl's life as well. That high horse sure must be nice considering it's guaranteed you don't live by those 'strict Christian values' either since you're refusing to show grace to a child who made a normal mistake."

"It's naive to think your son is innocent"

Others suggested if she was still concerned, she could speak to the girl's parents. "I'd be annoyed if someone didn't speak to me first before going to the school. Think about if the roles were reversed," commented one woman. 

A second agreed, writing, "Talk to her parents. If she's doing this now, there is a good chance she's done it before. She needs to learn the dangers of sending out pics of herself like that. At 14 boys (and girls) do stupid things. If she makes a boy mad he could share them with his friends which will ruin her reputation and it's a crime. Her parents need to handle it with her, not you."

Then someone else advised, "Delete the pics and tell your son to advise her not to send them again and I'd let her parents know just to cover your son's back..."

Others suggested that Julie was being naive to think her son had no interest in these sorts of photos. "He probably has done something similar (and is likely deleting photos and messages) or even asked her for the photo. Trust me I felt the same about my son and got horribly surprised. Talk to your son about the implications...," a different user concluded. 

Originally published as My 14yo son's girlfriend sent him a nude: I'm telling her Christian school