I'm the 'annoyingest' dad in the world and I love it

“Dad, dad, daaaaad! What have I told you, one HUNDRED times?”

Every Monday afternoon my six-year-old daughter scoffs, groans in embarrassment,  rolls her eyes and calls me out for being the “annoyingest” dad in the world.

It’s my favourite time of the week.

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The best hour of my week

The last time I appeared in these pages I outed myself as a Lower North Shore Mum, but the reality is I’m an Overly Emotional Aspiring Stay At Home Dad (the mere hint of the music from the Camping episode of Bluey is enough to set me off) … I just don't have the finances to pull it off.

They would be horrified to know this – Miss Six especially – but my two kids are my best friends and I want to spend all my free time with them.

Sadly for me (but luckily for them?) I have to work a regular full-time week and my free time is minimal.

But I cash in when I can.

Every Monday I leave work just after 2pm (I start at 6am — I’m not slacking, I promise) to make it to my daughter’s school in time for pick-up.

From there, I enjoy the best hour of my week as we amble up the road for a kilometre or so to get to her weekly swimming lesson, which starts at 4pm.

Image: Supplied

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It’s 60 minutes of “forced” email/phone call/text-free bliss with one of my three favourite people in the world (the two-year-old is awaiting us at daycare post-swimming, while  my wife is also, sadly, working).

Most Mondays there’s a gang of us – up to three close school friends can head home in the same direction as us along with their mums or dads and younger siblings – and we dominate the footpath for most of the journey.

The girls are jumping and bouncing and running and dashing and stopping to pick up flowers and stopping to pick up dandelions and blowing the dandelions to make a wish and chasing each other up the footpath and … stopping just short of the crossing streets with some helpful encouragement from the adults to ‘STOOOOOP!’

It's when the children are subsequently pulled aside by their respective adults to be given a safety lesson in the importance of not running blindly out on to the road that I usually receive my own lecture.

“I know, Dad. Stop being so annoying. You’re the annoyingest!”

Unlike her 40-something dad, whose two best friends in the world are aged six and two, my daughter has an innate ability to collect friends wherever she goes.

It’s an adorable trait, emphasised by the number of schoolmates who join us on our journey growing month by month, and the smiles she beams as she laughs with her friends could power the entire eastern seaboard.

But selfishly, my real favourite Mondays are when the friends are away, or have been driven home, and I get the entire walk with my daughter to myself.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Image: Supplied

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I love you so much

Despite the casual nature of these walks, there is still plenty of time to stop off for a pre-swimming snack, and a chat – although much like the road-safety lectures, the conversation doesn’t exactly flow.

“So, what did you get up to at lunchtime,” I asked my daughter one recent Monday.

“Oh. You don’t need to know about that,” she replied, with not a hint of irony.

I try another tack.

“Hey, guess what?” I ask her.

“What?”

“I love you so much, and this is my favourite time of the week.”

Cue the groans of embarrassment.

“I know Dad, you ALWAYS say that.”

We stop at the regular bakery, place our regular orders, sit at our regular bench and pick up our regular habit of me just lapping up being in the presence of my glorious daughter, and my glorious daughter begrudging the fact that her Overly Emotional Aspiring Stay At Home Dad is being a big old Overly Emotional dork. 

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It’s at this point that she'll often say:“Dad, dad, dad, dad, daaaaad! What have I told you, one HUNDRED times?”

I brace for the verbal volley that is to follow, but it never comes.

“I told you … that I want to give you a big cuddle.”

Bring on next Monday.

Originally published as I'm the 'annoyingest' dad in the world and I love it