I'm sick of telling my inlaws what to give their grandkids for Christmas

"They aren't horrible people, I just don't know how to go about setting a boundary this late in the game," the frustrated mum confesses.

Dominique Birouste

2 min read

November 20, 2023 - 4:03PM

High School

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During the holiday season, many parents find themselves grappling with the age-old dilemma: Should the entirety of gift-giving from grandparents for Christmas fall on them or should people work things out for themselves?

A recent Reddit post captures the frustration of one mum who has reached a breaking point with the issue, expressing sentiments that resonate with so many.

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"At my breaking point"

"I'm at my breaking point this year, I think. Every single year, for the past several years, every holiday, my parents and in-laws pretty much lay the burden of picking out gifts for my kids on me," the post laments.

This sentiment is a familiar one for parents who have shouldered the responsibility of curating wish lists and ensuring the absence of duplicates, a task that can become overwhelming as children outgrow traditional toys.

"Now that my kids are getting older and don't really do toys anymore, 14 and 16, this year I just hit a wall and don't know how to respond," the post continues.

The challenge intensifies as the children's preferences evolve, leaving parents in a dilemma of how to guide grandparents toward meaningful gifts that align with the teenagers' interests.

The frustration extends beyond gift-giving, encompassing a broader expectation that this mum is the default facilitator of grandparent-grandchild interactions.

"Both my kids have a cell phone, and I even live next door to my in-laws, and they both always have acted like it's MY responsibility to facilitate them interacting with the kids."

The post ends with a plea for advice on responding to the annual request for Christmas lists.

"I'm not really about having meaningless drama; they aren't horrible people, I just don't know how to go about setting a boundary this late in the game," the frustrated mum confesses.

Image: iStock

"Near breaking point"

The comments section was filled with messages echoing the mum's frustration with her situation.

"The most frustrating part of this process for me is that my MIL will wait until two weeks before Christmas to order things (after she's asked for a list and we've sent direct links) and then just ship it to me to wrap," wrote one.

Another chimed in by adding, "I feel this soooo much.

"All gift giving falls on me. Gifts to teachers, friends, family; Santa gifts to kids; lists for gifts for my kids to aunts/uncles; gifts to kids from my parents.

"This will be my 16th year too, and I am near a breaking point."

But it wasn't all doom and gloom in the comments, with many readers offering words of advice.

"Everybody makes their own wish list, share that. Or gift cards. I think you have to simplify it," said one user.

Another added, "I love wishlists. Ensures people are happy with the gift and the giver doesn't waste their money. At 14 and 16, time for the kids to make their own wishlists."