I was diagnosed with postpartum rage - I didn't know it was a thing

"If anybody has recommendations on how I can stop being a b*tch, let me know."

Motherhood can be an isolating, lonely, and challenging experience, especially during the early months. There's pressure to 'do it all' - with a smile - while navigating a new identity and learning how to raise a child.  

 

New mums (and dads) are told that it is the most joyful time of their lives, but for many, it can be a time of anxiety and depression. Postpartum depression (PPD) or postnatal depression (PND) is one of the most common mental health illnesses that rears its ugly head after giving birth.

But there’s another facet to the postpartum experience that is relatively unknown and spoken about — postpartum rage. 

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"No shocker there"

One mum recently posted on TikTok that her doctor said she was experiencing postpartum rage.

“Had my six-week postpartum checkup today. Got diagnosed with postpartum rage. No shocker there,” Sam McIntosh begins her clip with deadpan delivery.

“So, if anybody has any recommendations on how I can stop being a b*tch, I guess, let me know.”

Dr Samantha Saling, a Sydney-based GP, shares that rage can be within the "normal spectrum" of postpartum for both mums and dads. 

"Often postpartum rage is a sign of an undiagnosed mood disorder in the postnatal period. Irritability, agitation, and, yes, outbursts of rage can all occur as part of postnatal anxiety or depression, but also as part of the normal spectrum of emotions that come with new motherhood. "The difference is in the effect on our relationship with our babies, loved ones, and ourselves...Men can be affected too," Dr Saling tells Kidspot. 

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New mum, Sam, diagnosed with postpartum rage. Source: TikTok

"Still raging...baby is almost 40"

Postpartum rage is a serious condition, but Sam's open approach to the new diagnosis with humour struck a chord with other mums who commented on the video, which by now has almost a million views.

“Still having postpartum rage…baby is almost 40,” one viewer joked.

Another laughed, “I currently have pregnancy rage lol.”

This viewer wryly offered: “Postpartum rage!? I call it being a mum!"

Others chose to give Sam lighthearted advice on her request for tips on "how to stop being a b*tch."

“I punched my bathroom mirror out and felt a lot better! ...” one user suggested.

“Make your husband go away lol worked for me,” another wrote.

Sam replied, “Mine's the only one who helps with my rage. He handles all the stuff that makes me mad for me."

"We can help"

Among the thousands of comments, some offered encouragement, telling Sam to take breaks when she felt on edge.

“When it feels overwhelming. Put baby in a safe space, walk away and take a few moments for yourself! You got this!” one, for example, wrote.

Dr Saling adds, "I recommend women who feel like this book in with their GPs for a thorough checkup and honest discussion of what they are experiencing. We can help. 

"Matrescence is the massive change we experience when becoming mothers (considering the hormonal, emotional, social, financial, and physical upheaval!). Postpartum rage can be a manifestation of our struggles coming to terms with this new role. I see it all the time."

In a follow-up video, Sam says that her doctor recommended therapy for her postpartum rage. She also shares:

“I wasn’t surprised when I was told I had it because I could tell this was something that was so unlike myself and was something I wanted to work on. Having a baby is supposed to be the happiest time of our life, so I knew it wasn’t normal to be filled with so much rage.

"I’m doing okay now and am working with my midwife and therapist to find what works best for me to get myself feeling more emotionally levelled out.”

For more information on postpartum rage, see raisingchildren.net.au, speak to your medical professional, or call one of the numbers below.

Originally published as I was diagnosed with postpartum rage - I didn't know it was a thing