I let my kids skip their school swimming carnival every year

"I recall doing Cross Country and I HATED every second of it. I don't want to do that to my kids."

My kids love splashing around in the pool at home, but they aren’t competitive swimmers. Yet, that's not the reason I've let them to opt out of their school swimming carnival recently.

When they've gone in years past, I don’t care if they’re ‘good’ at swimming or not. It’s not about seeing them win. I don’t mind if they come last, I’m just so happy to see them taking part and giving things a try. I love them getting in the team spirit and cheering on their mates who may be excellent competitive swimmers.

Now that they're older, my kids no longer want to go to the event and I’m happy to let them skip it for a number of reasons I think many parents will relate to.

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I remember the pain of cross country

When I was a kid growing up in the UK, we didn’t have swimming carnivals. We did cross country though and I HATED every second of it. I was not sporty, I had bad asthma and I really disliked having to run three miles on a freezing cold winter’s day (sometimes it even snowed as we ran!).

My parents allowed me avoid it on the weeks I really couldn’t face it. They didn’t push me to take part, and I really appreciated them for understanding that cross country just wasn’t my thing.

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Now, weirdly, I’ve produced three offspring who are great long-distance runners and cross country doesn’t fill them with the dread (or lifelong mental scars) that I experienced, but they’re just not into swimming.

I know some people argue that their kids are great at swimming and not so good academically - and they feel this is their chance to shine. My kids are usually in the top handful to finish at cross country, but I really don’t mind other kids taking the day off if it’s not their thing. 

Encouraging resilience

The swimming carnival is an event that is forced on our kids – they didn’t choose to sign up for it. If my kids sign up to take part in something, I encourage them to accept responsibility for their choice and see it through, even if they change their mind.

A few years ago, halfway through the Nippers season they decided they’d had enough, we saw our early Sunday morning beach days through until the bitter the end. They weren’t in any danger (mental or physical) from keeping going for a few more weeks – it wasn’t giving them anxiety – it was just that they’d changed their minds.

It did them good to keep going even when they didn’t want to be there, and it was a solid life lesson.

I don't feel the same way about swimming carnivals they haven't made a commitment to.

Karen and her family. Source: supplied

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Doing activities they don’t excel at is good for them

My kids can swim but they aren’t skilled swimmers. Personally, I think it’s good for them to try activities they don’t excel in - to take part just for the act of taking part.

But they do enough of that at other times.

They embrace this idea at athletics carnival by trying out lots of different sports, but for some reason they just dislike swim carnival and no amount of encouragement can get them excited about it.

It's a loooong day!

Swimming carnival is usually a very long, hot day. Even with regular sunscreen, it is almost impossible to avoid getting burnt in the outdoor pool the school uses. There is never enough shade. It’s a lot to expect kids (and spectators!) to sit in that from 9.30am – 2.30pm, especially if they aren’t competing and they just aren’t interested in being there.

Will they go this year or not?

Our swimming carnivals haven’t taken place yet this year, but they're soon. I’ll judge at the time whether my kids want to go or not. I’m 99% sure my boys won’t as the high school swim carnival takes place after school and is finally an opt-in event.

It’s my daughter’s last year of primary. It’s probably her last ever carnival, because in high school she probably won’t want to go. This also makes it MY last swim carnival as a parent spectator. 

I’ll do my best to encourage her to go.... but I can’t promise she’ll be there.  

Originally published as I let my kids skip their school swimming carnival every year