How should we feel about the Grecko-Edelsten baby?

A VISCERAL shudder was felt around Australia at the announcement of the Grecko-Edelsten pregnancy. If only we didn’t know how babies were made!

BABIES are a blessing, no matter their circumstance. Always and without question. But like everyone else, I viscerally shuddered upon hearing this morning that Gabi Grecko Edelsten and Geoffrey Edelsten are expecting a baby together.

It was a surprise announcement, partly because it comes so soon after their wedding last week. We’re still trying to get our heads around the apparent permanency of their union, and whatever it was she wore on her head that day. (I think it was a tinsel wig from a showbag.)

The wedding outfits. Super classy. Picture: Nathan Dyer

But also partly because we’ve all comforted ourselves, in their gruesome mismatching, that they wouldn’t, couldn’t possibly consummate their relationship. Now here’s proof, and it’s not a pretty truth. To quote this tweeter:

Reading about Gabi Grecko being pregnant makes me wish my mother had never told me how babies are made

— Emma Wilton (@emgyres) June 14, 2015

As with the five stages of grief, denial then set in. My girlfriend in spin class this morning: “Really? She’s really pregnant? I’ll believe that when I see it crowning.” To which I say, don’t suggest it — I’m sure Gabi’s looking for someone to buy the rights as we speak.

I take her point though. It feels pretty nasty, but their relationship has appeared so much for the benefit of publicity — remember Geoffrey’s stumble-to-his-knees proposal on Derby Day in front of the paparazzi? And then to announce it on Instagram, with a photo of a positive pregnancy test?

The big announcement posted on Instagram.

Why not make this special moment between her husband and her, just for them? And why so early in the pregnancy? In an interview on Triple M this morning, Gabi said she’s three or four weeks gone, and has been feeling sick for weeks. I can tell you when I was first pregnant, the last thing I would have done is drag my bilious head out of the toilet to share the news with the world, but then I wouldn’t have assumed anyone would be interested.

I’ve always viewed the Grecko-Edelstens with a baffled compassion. Baffled because I can’t imagine why a 26-year-old young woman would wish to spend any time with a 72-year-old man, other than if it was her grandpa with his stories and family memories and lolly snakes that he still keeps in the pantry. Equally, what would an elderly man possibly have to talk about with a 26-year-old woman, other than a lesson in iView so he can catch up on Antiques Roadshow?

Our eyes! Picture: Instagram

But whatever doubts I might have are always tempered with compassion because I worry for Gabi. Without having ever met her, and going entirely on her online presence — so possibly based on nothing but fiction — I feel like she’s vulnerable. We know she’s been hospitalised for depression and anxiety.

In July last year, she tweeted she’d been put on suicide watch. She’s a fragile girl, in a relationship with a much older, powerful man, isolated from her family, in the glare of a hypercritical hungry media cycle. All of that is of her own doing, no doubt. She yearns for attention like I yearn to be put under house arrest so I never have to do another school drop off. But just because she’s seeking something, doesn’t mean she’s in a healthy enough place to know what’s good for her.

Gabi Grecko Edelsten might love the publicity, but that doesn’t mean she’s in a good place.

So while jokes are easily made, and probably some are warranted (if septuagenarians were meant to be fathers, supermarkets would put Huggies and Depends in the same aisle. Boom tish!), what Gabi needs right now, as all first time mums, is a bit of encouragement, understanding and permission to lie down wherever and whenever the mood takes her.

We don’t know the real Gabi. Yes, she has puffed-up lips and orange hair and dresses like she’s permanently in the Eurovision Song Contest. She’s entitled to do so. In winter, I dress like a country vet, and I’m about 200kms away from a cow. But I know Gabi is just like any other woman, in that being pregnant will make her scared and excited and sad and alone and sick and tired and elated all at once. And because it’s the first time, she won’t know if she’s been possessed by an alien, going mad or transitioning into a zombie.

I really hope she’s got someone away from her public life, Geoffrey or another trusted friend, she can rely on. Someone who can tell her that whatever she’s going through is normal, even if the life she’s created for herself isn’t. Someone who can let her cry at TV commercials without judgment, although I’d advise her to stay away from any ads for the Australian Pensioners Insurance.

A happy Gabi and Geoffrey after the pregnancy announcement.

Follow Jo Stanley on Facebook and Twitter @RealJoStanley

Originally published as How should we feel about the Grecko-Edelsten baby?