'He still calls me mama': Mum shares her extraordinary bond with foster son

When Jo took in five-year-old Eddie*, she couldn't have predicted the "magnificent privilege" it would be to have him join her family. 

Growing up in a fostering family, Jo Myers was always interested in becoming a foster parent herself. 

But the driving force for her was when she became a special education teacher and got to work with young people in care and witness their struggles first-hand.

Myers, who lives in Melbourne and has two biological children of her own, decided to open up her home to the now-15-year-old Eddie*, whom she fostered for nine years until he was returned to his mum.

“He was a real success story,” Jo tells Kidspot. “But it was a journey getting there.”

“This little fella came to us when he was five, desperately in need of a somewhere safe with the room for a little person with very big feelings that needed to come out,” she recalls.

And it wasn’t just his emotions he needed support with. “Eddie was five, but he was probably like a two-year-old, so we had to still bathe him like a two-year-old in the bath. We had to rock him like a baby because he hadn’t been rocked. We had to play with him on the floor like a toddler and teach him how to hold a crayon. He hadn’t been toilet trained so we had to go through that.

“He was also very, very distressed. We had a lot of screaming, punching, kicking…”

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Image: Supplied / Pexels

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"Don’t underestimate yourself"

Jo acknowledges that her background in education was invaluable to her foster care role.

Adaptability, creativity, collaboration, and a “ripper sense of humour” are among the qualities she says are crucial in navigating the challenges and rewards of fostering. 

“You have to be quick to adapt to the child’s needs and be really creative with how you respond. Also, collaboration skills are important - you have to work with the agency, allied health, child health, their school and the biological parents,” she adds.

However, Jo emphasises that anyone with a passion for helping children can go on this journey, regardless of their professional background. 

“Don’t underestimate yourself... There is loads of support and training out there,” she advises, pointing to the invaluable support she received from Anglicare Victoria.

“It's like a 'village'. You’re surrounded by a care team, so at any point if you feel unsure how to handle something, you just pick the phone up and there’s a 24-hour service.

“People don’t realise that you’re never alone.” 

Jo also wants more people to know that there are different types of arrangements available, from short-term care to weekend and respite care. 

“It’s not as all-encompassing as you might think. You can just do a little bit and have a child one day a month or week.”

She adds: “Also, anyone can do it. I’d hate for someone to think that if they’re single they couldn’t or if they’re in a same-sex relationship - it doesn’t matter. All are welcome with open arms.”

Jo and her biological son. Image: Supplied

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"What Eddie taught us outweighs the challenges"

Despite the challenges of raising a child from a tough background, Jo says the whole experience was “a magnificent privilege.”

“We all learnt a lot… my kids learnt a lot. It was full on at times, but what Eddie taught us outweighs the challenges,” she explains.

Jo elaborates, “They really struggled with seeing a young adolescent be so physical.”

Despite this, and other challenges that came with bringing a child into an existing family system, Jo says the experience had a profound and enduring effect on her kids.   

Her daughter even went on to do a Master of Teaching and wants to specialise in kids in foster care. 

“She’s been inspired,” Jo says. “You think that the negatives will stand out but she’s very passionate about kids in care and making sure they’re supported in schools.”

Like more and more people in their 20s, her daughter doesn’t want to have kids. “She just wants to foster,” Jo says. 

"He still calls me mama"

So the torch is passed on once again, and this family’s generous spirit continues. 

As for Eddie, Jo says he’s still very much a part of the family.

“He comes to have dinner with us once a month,” she says, with a warmth in her voice that speaks volumes about the bond they share. 

“He still calls me mama. And I’m still his mama.”

The need for foster carers

Anglicare Victoria's CEO, Paul McDonald, echoes Jo's sentiments, emphasising that “fostering is one of the most rewarding things a person can do.”

“Opening your home to a child who needs a safe place to stay is one of the biggest ways you can make a difference to a young person who really needs it,” McDonald said.

With over 1,600 children and young people living in out-of-home care across Victoria last year, the need for more foster carers has never been more critical. 

“If you’ve got room in your home, and your heart, for a young person, or even if you’re just a little bit curious about foster caring, get in touch for a chat. There are no silly questions,” he says.

Anglicare Victoria runs regular information sessions about all things foster care. Visit their website to learn more. 

*Name changed for privacy.

Originally published as 'He still calls me mama': Mum shares her extraordinary bond with foster son