A 'Mum Posse' is the new village in 2025 and I know you want to be in one

"Crack open a bottle of wine in the park and see who joins you... kidding... sorta."

Making friends as an adult is no joke, but making new friends as a mum? Well that’s a whole vibe and so much easier than you’d think.

To be honest, I’ve learned more about strangers’ vaginas within two minutes of knowing them than I ever would have imagined.

And once you know those details, well, you’re bonded.

But if that scares you more than reassures you then don’t worry, I’ve got some less intimate tips to help you grow your posse.

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Find common ground. Literally.

Head to the park, local play groups, Mother's groups, sensory play, swimming lessons, the 9am class at your local gym if that’s your thing. All of these places are chokkers with mums. Be brave! Strike up a conversation!

I know you’re objecting, "What if I’m weird? I’m so tired. I look gross and I don’t remember how to speak to other adults."

Well babe you’re in the right place because none of us are coherent anymore and I bet you don’t look grosser than anyone else feels. Years of coming last doesn't do much for anyone's complexion but don’t worry we’re all in the same boat.

Coffee and wine mum-bait. Image: Emma Kenney

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Target those whose life looks like yours

‘But what do we talk about?’ Literally anything. Ask about their kids, if they’ve slept lately, did they birth vaginally (ok maybe I’m the problem).

Right now, that mum pushing her toddler on the swing at 7am has more appreciation for what your life looks like than people you’ve been friends with for years might.

The trick is to spot someone matching your energy. If you’ve had a solid eight hours and you waltz up to the exhausted looking mum (who looks like she uses staring vacantly into the distance as a coping mechanism in the place of having any real support system) and start talking about your 6am pilates class, don’t blame me when she looks like she wants to throat punch you.

Likewise if you’re sooking in your soup, the well put together group of mums who look like they’ve known each other for years in the middle of a vivacious catch up might not be the best place for your self-esteem. Actually, maybe that’s the exact right spot for you.

Because if anyone can support a mum it’s another mum with capacity.

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Refresh old friendships

Coming out of the fog of early motherhood can be a great time to reflect on how good a friend you’ve been too.

Flaking is inevitable because things come up but if you’re cancelling more than 20% of the time then you’re just flaky. And we’re all too busy to want to invest in a flake.

Maybe it’s time to see if you can’t reinvigorate any of the friendships you might have neglected. Your turn to deliver coffees I reckon! Have you perhaps got some childfree friends you owe a good quality hang out?

 Do the things your friends like to do, ask questions, hear stories of the world outside Motherhood!

Take things offline

Put the feelers out to your online mum friends and see who’s in your area. Meet at the park with some snacks and drinks and see if the chemistry translates to the real world. I bet it does! I’ve been lucky enough to meet some of my interstate online friends and it’s actually the best!

I promise investing in a mum posse is a worthwhile pursuit.

Yeah it's weird to talk to strangers but they’re only strangers for five minutes. The women around you at soccer and school pick up are the same but different to you. They’re tired, they’re juggling, they’re ambitious, they love their kids fiercely and they, like you, would probably love to grow their circles.

So give these tips a go and if none of them work well you can always crack open a bottle of wine at the park and see who joins you.

Originally published as A 'Mum Posse' is the new village in 2025 and I know you want to be in one