A dad is 'furious' his tween has started wearing pushup bras

"You are being the creep that you want to protect your daughter from," one person claimed. 

Navigating puberty with tweens is difficult for any parent, but one dad is finding it particularly hard with his daughter. 

As a dad and a police officer, he says he wants to keep his tween daughter safe, which to him means discouraging her from wearing push-up bras. 

Taking to an advice forum, he asked what he should do in this situation, given his whole family disagrees with him. 

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Image: IStock

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"Certain attire brings about more attention"

"My daughter is 12 and my wife bought her a pushup bra recently and I was furious," he begins the post. "Our daughter like her mum started to develop fairly young. I have always limited her use of tank tops because creeps exist and I know some sick person would see her that way."

However, his wife argued that "women should not have to hide due to men's poor behaviour." And while he agrees with that sentiment, he says that unfortunately we "don't live in an ideal world."

"We can wish all we want, but in common sense, certain actions and attire bring about more attention, and more attention increases one's likelihood of getting the attention of a person that may harm," he adds.

"My wife and daughter feel I am overreacting but certain things I do not want to take a chance with, I know this may be a father not wanting his little girl to grow up too fast, but I mean within reason. My wife told me I should not police what our child wears and that this is what breeds resentment and I also should not be sexualising our daughter - they are just clothes," he explains.

He feels so strongly about protecting his daughter from being targeted by creeps, that he even showed his wife the police's sex offender registry. 

But that didn't go down well, he says. "This is where she flipped and said I am teaching our daughter to live in fear, while she is trying to teach her to feel empowered by her body and choices."

He concludes, "My wife and daughter have been giving me the cold shoulder," before asking, "Am I being a paranoid, overbearing father?"

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"Please let your wife handle all this because you SUCK at it"

Most commenters sided with the mum and daughter. 

"You’re the one sexualising your daughter and teaching her to be ashamed because she possesses a body. Please let your wife handle all this because you SUCK at it," one person said. 

"You are being the creep that you want to protect your daughter from," one other person claimed. 

Another wrote, "Your wife is trying to raise your daughter to love herself and to dress for her own enjoyment. Your wife’s approach is more likely to result in your daughter feeling confident and comfortable in her own skin.

"Your approach is more likely to teach your daughter that she has to hide herself to avoid getting hurt. It will also teach her that if she does get hurt, it’s her fault for not hiding herself."

However, some dads agreed with the OP. One said, "The whole point of a pushup bra is to create fuller boobs and make cleavage. That type of bra is definitely sexualising the 12-year-old. Its whole point is to make a woman’s boobs more appealing."

Then another sympathetic reader replied, "You’re worried about her safety. I understand. Mum is trying to make her comfortable in her own skin. No one is trying to hurt her self-esteem. However, 12 is too young for a pushup bra. She can get bras that are less geared to kids, however, she’s still a kid. She’s only 12. She should be able to wear what she likes, in an age-appropriate manner.

"If you don’t have daughters, you won’t understand. She’s 12. She doesn’t need the pushup bra."

Originally published as A dad is 'furious' his tween has started wearing pushup bras