New UniSA project aims to unlock the secrets of love on the land for real life farmers who want a wife

We’ve all heard plenty about farmers who want a wife. But what happens after they find one?

County boy Simon and city girl Steph Schmidt at their wedding in 2013. Pictures: supplied

Helping farmers find love through reality TV shows such as Farmer Wants a Wife is one thing but Adelaide researchers are now focusing on ensuring bush romance survives the ups and down of country living.

A team of rural health experts from the University of South Australia has just launched a new online resource “to help farmers build and maintain a healthy relationship with their partner”.

UniSA research fellow Chloe Fletcher said it was not just the physical and social isolation that added unique challenges for farming couples.

“The fact you are not only working on the farm but you are also living on the farm … your partner may be the only person you see for days at a time, they are someone you really rely on for support (but) being in the same space as your partner all the time can also lead to tension,” she said.

“Farmers work notoriously long hours, often alone, and they can be quite weird hours, through the night, early hours of the morning … this can mean they may not have the time or energy to dedicate to their romantic relationship.

“Also in farming there are so many things that are outside of a farmer’s control such as the weather, commodity prices, pests – things specifically related to their (livelihood) that can create stress and uncertainty.”

Dr Fletcher said the new “building healthy relationships” resource, offered through free online toolkit ifarmwell, aimed to help farmers “check in on their relationship, explore how to improve (its quality) and learn how to repair it when things get tough”.

“When you live on a farm and in a small community, romantic relationships can feel intense, in a way that might not happen for people living in the city,” she said.

Psychologist Stephanie Schmidt who grew up in inner-suburban Prospect and married a farmer at Worlds End, near Burra, in the Mid North is preparing to launch a podcast to address, in part, this challenge and has welcomed the new resource.

The mum-of-three agreed couples on the land faced many challenges “our city cousins” don’t.

“When you run a farm, a family and a business together, there are always multiple hats being worn and a constant juggle of multiple responsibilities,” the rural wellbeing advocate and founder of ACT for Ag said.

“While we often talk about the financial stress and unpredictability associated with farming, it’s hard to understand what that is like until you are actually living it.”

But, she said, there were also unique “rewards and opportunities” about farm life.

“Couples on the land often share a deep connection through their joint efforts in managing the farm and overcoming adversity together … offering unique moments of joy and achievement that couples in urban settings may not experience,” she said.

“This may be as simple as feeding hay out to sheep as the sun sets, or the feeling of success when you finally get the tractor going after a couple of hours of fixing it together.”

Research for the new tool was funded through the James and Diana Ramsay Foundation.