'My fiancé earns $600K and I'm on $50K. He still wants me to pay the bills'

Do you think this sounds like a fair arrangement? 

Arguments about money are common in any relationship - even more so now with the increase in the cost of living putting a strain on families. But when it comes to paying the household bills, what is deemed 'fair'?

That's the question a woman has asked Buzzfeed's personal finance editor, Megan, recently. And it's getting a lot of attention online. 

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My fiancé earns $600K and I make $50K. I'm still expected to contribute to the bills

The unnamed woman submitted her question to the advice section after being torn with what was right or wrong in her relationship with her new fiancé. 

"I'm recently engaged and having a hard time wrapping my mind around how to equitably share income and expenses. My partner makes considerably more money than I do. He's a doctor salaried around $600K a year. I work in education and make less than $50K a year," she revealed in her submission. 

"I am not a big spender but also not a saver. I am divorced, have joint custody of my teenage children, get no alimony or child support, and after the bills are paid and a little bit of discretionary spending (mostly by my daughter lol), I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck. I am afraid of debt so I have none. I rent a home, don't use credit cards, live modestly, enjoy shopping at thrift stores, and my car is eight years old with 225K miles." 

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But the way the woman handles money isn't getting a great reaction from her partner - despite his inability to save himself. 

"He is very money conscious on SOME things, but also spends extravagantly on other things. He has a home mortgage, a mortgage on a Lamborghini, and student loans. He pays his ex 40 per cent of his salary in alimony, but that will end in a few months. He's got teenagers too, so several more years of paying child support. He basically lives paycheck to paycheck, just with bigger paychecks.

"Other than saying that he expects me to 'contribute' and 'not just chill' while he's working, he won't fully communicate his financial wishes and expectations. We are currently looking at buying a home together so the issue is somewhat pressing."

So, who should pay the bills? 

Megan shared the question with readers, while also highlighting that it was important to note there was no "right way" to share expenses as a couple. 

"What works for me and my partner (separate accounts all the way, baby!) might seem absolutely unmanageable to someone else. So this conversation needs to be all about finding what feels comfortable and right for the two of you," she answered. 

RELATED: Man refuses to pay bills for partner’s three kids

Who pays the bills in your home? Image: iStock

"It's encouraging that you seem to have good insight into his financial picture, and vice versa. This tells me that you two have the trust, openness, and communication to sit down and figure this out. But instead of just asking, "How should we split the bills?" it might be more productive to start the conversation somewhere else."

Megan suggested starting by talking about how the couple has handled sharing finances in previous relationships and taking things from there. She also suggested talking about what the woman's desired lifestyle was and classifying expenses as wants and needs.

"Some couples are perfectly happy to just put all their money into one shared account and say what's mine is ours, though I think this works best when both partners have similar values and spending habits," Megan added. 

"It’s absolutely ridiculous"

While Megan offered some practical advice, the internet was not OK with the suggestion that the woman should be expected to contribute to household bills when her partner earned far more than what her teaching salary offered. 

"This sort of mentality is beyond weird to me! If you’re in a life partnership with another person why scrutinize who pays what bills and stress about it," one person commented. 

"If I made 600,000 a year I would be more than happy to pay all the bills," another added. 

RELATED: ‘Money is the main reason relationships breakdown’

One reader also couldn't comprehend the idea of "splitting" bills with a life partner. 

"I never got this, counting everything down to the last penny. Paying your bills vs my own bills. Just get a joint account and pay everything together, done. When you get married you're supposed to be a team and work together," they said. 

Meanwhile, others agreed with Megan and suggested she should contribute - just maybe not as much as he should. 

“She’s bringing in 7% of their combined income. So she should only be paying 7% of the bills,” one person recommended. 

"My husband makes more so he pays more," another reader offered. 

And another agreed: "Shared expenses always made more sense to my partner and I, but if they want to split it then percentages based on income. Done!"

Originally published as 'My fiancé earns $600K and I'm on $50K. He still wants me to pay the bills'