Millennials and Gen Z dads stay home while mums work in generational breadwinner shift

Nothing riles up stay-at-home dad Mitch more than being asked if he’s the babysitter and he’s not alone as Millennials and Gen Z families shake up gender roles.

The Smelt family are embracing new ways of doing things with commercial carpenter Mitch stepping from his trade to be a full-time dad while his entrepreneur wife runs her growing mortgage broker business. Picture: Dean Martin

There are few things that rile laid-back Adelaide dad-of-two Mitch Smelt more than being asked if he is “babysitting” his kids, or having his wife, Sarah, referred to as his “sugar mama”.

The commercial carpenter has stepped away from his trade for a time to focus on being a full-time, stay-at-home dad to the couple’s two children, four-year-old daughter Bowie and baby son Albie, who is seven months old.

Increasingly, gender-specific family roles are changing, according to the nation’s leading social researchers and demographers.

McCrindle Research’s advisory director Ashley Fell says research shows younger generations – particularly Millennials and Generation Z – are far more likely to see parenting and household responsibilities as shared.

“We’re seeing a generational shift when it comes to gender roles in the home, particularly around who takes on the role of primary carer and who is the main breadwinner,” Ms Fell

said.

“The traditional roles of ‘mum as the carer’ and ‘dad as the provider’ are giving way to more fluid, negotiated roles that reflect the values of equality, collaboration and mutual support.

“It’s a trend that’s not just reshaping the family unit but also influencing workplace policies, leadership pipelines and the broader conversation around work-life integration.

“This cultural shift is being driven by changing attitudes, greater access to parental leave for both parents, and evolving economic realities that often require dual incomes.”

For the Smelt family, the primary carer transition makes sense with Mrs Smelt focused on building her burgeoning mortgage broker business, Finance Society, which she established four years ago.

Stay-at-home dad Mitch Smelt with his young children, Bowie, 4, and Albie, 7 months. Wife Sarah is working to build her finance business. Picture: Dean Martin

Mr Smelt says while he cherishes his new role, he does tire of stereotypical quips, which usually come from older observers.

“I get asked all the, ‘are you babysitting?’ and I will respond, ‘no, I am parenting’ … the generations just see it differently,” he said.

“But my mates and younger guys will say, ‘oh, I wish I could do that’ … I’ve actually got a few mates who, seeing what I have done, are now taking every Friday off work to have the whole day with their kids … I think it’s great.

“The best bits are the moments watching (the kids) grow together and seeing how much love they have for each other … it can be challenging and isolating at times but I’ve found I have become more nurturing, caring and emotional in a sense.

“I think my parents’ generation would just take two weeks off, if that, and then they’d be back at work where a lot of guys now are taking, eight or nine weeks … to be there with their kids when they are younger.”

Despite the shifting trend, there are still some ready with taunts about Mrs Smelt being the “breadwinner”.

“They’ll say things such as, ‘where do I find one of these women’, or ‘Sarah’s your Sugar Mama’ and all that stuff … and I know a lot is just his mates having a bit of a go but I just don’t understand it,” Mrs Smelt said.

The brainchild for her thriving business which aims to “simplify the lending experience and empower everyday Aussies to feel confident, informed and in control of their money” came while she was on maternity leave from her bank job with her first child.

Today the 36-year-old employs six people in her Glenelg office in addition to contracted social media, IT and public relations teams.

“Once the business started to really take off, Mitch ended up going part-time … and now, stay-at-home dad,” she said, adding changes to parental leave which allow dads to access 20 weeks government-funded pay is significant and helped when Albie was born.