Inside the lives and careers of SA’s sexologists and sex therapists
Take a look inside the work of some of the state’s leading sexologists and sex therapists and decide for yourself if they could be of benefit to you.
Lifestyle
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It’s a profession that’s largely kept hush-hush and is considered taboo by many, but yet we are all intrigued and still want to learn the ins and outs.
Sexology and sex therapists are experts in all things sex, relationships, sexuality, gender and beyond – and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Many might immediately think that they’ll help you to climax and spice up your life a little, but the reality is their work goes far deeper and, in some instances, can be lifesaving.
Meet some of the state’s leading sexologists and sex therapists, and decide for yourself if their everyday careers are as “sexy” as you may have thought they were.
Anisa Varasteh
President of the Society of Australian Sexologists, Anisa Varasteh oversees the world of sexology here in South Australia.
Ms Varasteh studied professional psychology and after graduating worked at Relationships Australia as a sexual health counsellor.
“We had clients with bloodborne viruses, like HIV or hepatitis, I had to have conversations around sexuality with them and I realised that’s something that’s really interesting for me,” Ms Varasteh said.
“I wanted to pursue it more and understand human sexuality on a deeper level.”
So, to follow her passion, she went back to university and studied a master of sexology and worked as a clinical sexologist. She has been in the industry for 15 years and started her own practice, Relate Sexology, in 2020.
Ms Varasteh’s areas of focus are working with survivors of sexual assault and sexual violence, as well as trauma recovery.
“In the media, sometimes what you see is a very small portion of what people do, whatever career you have, I think it’s the same as sex therapy,” Ms Varasteh said.
“Sometimes people think that you just go there and talk about sex, and sometimes you do, but it’s not everything.
“Sexuality is much more, talking about gender identity, gender roles, relationships, trauma. It’s very broad.”
The diversity of the job is what Ms Varasteh loves the most, along with how rewarding it is to provide a safe space for people to come and chat about sex and sexuality, rather than it being stigmatised.
“Sex and sexuality is still very taboo and stigmatised, and people often tend to carry a lot of shame around whatever challenges they’re experiencing,” Ms Varasteh said.
“Being able to provide a safe base for people to share whatever is bothering them is an honour and a privilege.”
Dr Tessa Opie
Tessa Opie is the founder of inyourskin, an evidence-based relationships and sexuality education and consultancy services to schools and organisations across Australia and New Zealand.
Dr Opie’s career began in the drug and alcohol sector, working with young people affected by homelessness, substance misuse and who’d had contact with the juvenile justice system.
“My role became one of community education and health promotion which is where I discovered how much I love working in the education space, exploring health and safety from a harm reduction approach, and addressing inequities in health, including sexual health, literacy,” Dr Opie said.
“I have always been interested in, and motivated by, issues of social injustice, and many people don’t realise that evidence-based relationships and sexuality education is about sexual health and safety.”
Dr Opie founded inyourskin 10 years ago and works with school students, young people, university students, parents, teachers, professional athletes, educational departments, principals and senior leadership teams.
“Having worked with young people in the blood borne virus and sexual health space, I saw an urgent need for more pragmatic, preventive and evidence based education,” she said.
“I also saw an opportunity to have meaningful conversations with young people that didn’t shy away from the nuances and social complexities of their world.”
Ruby Deieso
As a sexuality and relationship counsellor, Ruby Deieso wants to create a safe space for people to have conversations about sex and relationships and support those who need help.
Miss Deieso studied psychology as an undergraduate degree and had an interest in gender studies, especially learning about gender and sexuality in an academic setting.
“I’d always enjoyed conversations about sexuality, relationships and those sorts of things with friends and close family, so it was really fascinating to have those conversations in a uni setting,” Miss Deieso said.
“I’ve been really lucky that I’d grown up with people around me that have made it really safe to talk about sex … so I want to create a space for people who maybe don’t have family or friends that they can have those conversations with.”
As Miss Deieso is still working out if she wants to specialise in a certain area of sexology, she said she currently works on topics to do with gender, sexual identity, relationships and trauma.
When Miss Deieso said she gets a “mixed reaction” when she tells people she is a sex therapist.
“Usually people are like ‘that’s pretty cool’, but then sometimes the conversation doesn’t go much further. Or people say ‘oh yes, like the mum in Sex Education’. I’m not quite that age, maybe I’m a younger version,” she said.
Miss Deieso is studying a master of science in medicine in sexual and reproductive health and will complete her studies this year.
Dr Marie Tudor
On her website, Dr Marie Tudor writes “I have helped hundreds of women over the last two decades learn to orgasm”.
With more than 30 years of clinical experience in sexual and couples concerns, Dr Tudor is a well-known and respected sex therapist in Adelaide.
She started as a GP but after juggling long hours with being a mum of two boys, she became exhausted and burnt out.
Dr Tudor turned to locum work and met a GP specialising in sex therapy, who encouraged her to work in the field of sexology.
She subsequently enrolled in a two-year diploma of family therapy, which equipped her with the skills needed to work with couples.
“When I began working with individuals and couples in 1992 to help them with their sexual concerns, I realised I had found my ideal vocation,” Dr Tudor said.
“Talking with people for over an hour to help them with their sexual concerns is far more rewarding and less stressful than being rushed to help people in 10 to 15 minutes in general practice.”
She said that over the years, she has come across a range of sexual concerns, including people who may be suicidal, particularly those who are isolated with their concerns or who may be marginalised, such as LGBTQI people.
Dr Tudor recalled one story of an 18-year-old bisexual man who had never been able to orgasm when awake.
She said the man had declared that he would take his own life in three months, on his 19th birthday, if he was unable to orgasm.
Dr Tudor said that with a lot of coaching and intensive work, she helped the man learn to orgasm.
“Some years later, I came across the young man at a petrol station. He was happy that he had been helped – and that I had saved his life,” she said.
Tennessee Tallisker
Tennessee Tallisker first became curious about human sexuality when her friends trusted her to share their ‘coming out’ journeys as a teenager.
Years on, she has a bachelor of midwifery, a master of sexology and is an active member of the Society of Australian Sexologists.
“I’m a sexologist and sexuality educator because I have a genuine interest in supporting the humanistic right to autonomy and safety in sexuality education, health, and sexual expression,” Ms Tallisker said.
“Through my work, I strive to contribute towards the change I wish to see in a commonly ableist world.”
Through a combination of psychosexual therapy, different educational modalities and advocacy, Ms Tallisker works with her clients to identify and reduce any barriers or gaps in knowledge, to support a safe, healthy, and fulfilling relationships and sex life.
“A client once affirmed for me the importance of work in this space, when they expressed how wonderful it felt to be able to talk to someone so safely and openly about their sexuality, something they had not experienced before,” she said.
“It is a very rewarding career in that sense, and an honour to hold this space for clients.”
Jana Gomes
Jana Gomes was working in the sexual health field for six years before joining inyourskin in 2021.
With a background in sexual health, Ms Gomes is also currently studying psychology at the University of South Australia and sexology at Curtin University.
Ms Gomes is also inyourskin’s main sexuality educator for players in the AFL.
“I am passionate about increasing the sexual health and safety of young people and the role of respectful relationships education in the prevention of sexual violence,” Ms Gomes said.
“People often misunderstand my role as a sexuality educator and are quite surprised when they hear what my role actually entails.”
Ms Gomes said she feels rewarded in her job every time a student approaches her after a session and expresses their gratitude.
“Students who approach me often report that it was the first time in their life that they have felt seen, safe and comfortable being who they are,” she said.
Catherine Mahoney
Working in the field for more than 30 years, Catherine Mahoney is a wealth of experience in the sexology world in Adelaide.
Her career as a psychotherapist and clinical social worker began in 1990 working at Relationships Australia, where she was a couples counsellor for 15 years.
At Relationships Australia, she worked in its specialist sexual concerns unit and provided counselling for various sexual concerns, sexual trauma, sexual orientation and gender issues.
“The field of sexuality is incredibly broad, it covers all the individual issues that people can have, all the couple issues people can have, but also different types of relationships,” Ms Mahoney said.
“It also covers sexual difficulties that people might have when on fertility programs or difficulty with sexuality with cancer.”
Ms Mahoney was one of the first counsellors employed by Respond SA, the service for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and has been a professional sexual therapist and educator since 1996.
Ms Mahoney said some advice she’d like to give people with any issues with sexuality or physical intimacy is to “not leave it too long”.
“The longer they leave it the more stressed the individual or couple gets or the more pain they get in and they get into a pain cycle,” she said.
Sarah Childs
In a field as complex and ever-evolving as sex therapy, Sarah Childs strongly believes that “learning is a lifelong journey”.
Ms Childs is a LGBTIQA+ project officer at Catalyst Foundation and has been in the industry for six years.
“I began teaching in 2017, the year of the same-sex marriage plebiscite and debate,” she said.
“During this time, I witnessed this discourse’s negative impact on my students, who felt powerless due to their inability to vote in the plebiscite.
“This discourse also profoundly impacted my friends in the LGBTIQA+ community and myself, as I recently had my own come out as bisexual. I wanted to do something about education and therapy for these individuals in this area.”
Although Ms Childs has a master of sexology and a bachelor of education, she believes she will carry on learning about sexology as the years pass.
“I do what I do because it brings me immense gratification and fulfilment. I am driven by a deep passion for promoting healthy and holistic relationships with sexuality and gender for all individuals,” she said.
“Witnessing my clients gain confidence, embrace their authentic selves, and experience deeper connections with themselves and their partners is incredibly rewarding.”
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