I'm a Gen Z; Sorry but you need to throw out your ankle socks

"They're cancelled, please don't shoot the messenger."

Me (left), my millennial boss (right) Image: Supplied

Alright, millennials, brace yourselves: Gen Z has a message regarding your fashion choices, and I’m here to deliver it, so get ready to take notes. 

Look down at your feet right now… go on, do it. I’ll wait. 

Chances are you’re either a) at home wearing your comfy Kmart slippers or b) at work wearing shoes (probably white sneakers) and ankle socks.

Now, I’m not here to tell you to get rid of your white sneakers, although you absolutely should — ballet flats or loafers only for winter pls — I’m here to talk to you about those ratty little pathetic excuses for socks you have on. 

Yes, I know they're there. Even though they're trying sooo hard to be invisible, I see them, and I'm sorry, but they're officially cancelled. 

Hey, hey, hey - like I said, I’m just the messenger. And if you clicked on this article, I know you’re at least a *tiny* bit intrigued about this topic, so come with me and I’ll explain everything you need to know. 

Then, and only then, can you make an informed choice about what to do about your sock drawer. 

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Me (left), my millennial boss (right) Image: Supplied

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Ankle socks are dead

So, thanks to TikTok, the humble ankle sock has been dubbed the “uncool” sock choice du jour, exclusively worn by - you guessed it - millennials. 

One Aussie influencer on TikTok even said she could correctly guess the age of strangers by their gym socks. She said Gen Zs were wearing crew socks, whereas millennials were exclusively wearing ankle socks. It was enough to make the 28-year-olds and above in her comments gasp in horror, realising they could be so easily age-profiled with just a glimpse at their ankles.

Now people have been taking to social media platforms in droves to film themselves shedding their ankle socks in an attempt to keep up with the youth of today.

But this isn’t just a shift purely based on aesthetics, even though once you wear crew socks with everything, you’ll realise it's chic AF.

It’s about practicality. 

And I KNOW that you know what I’m talking about. 

I bet your socks are riding down as we speak, and you lost the back of one under your heel this morning and haven’t been bothered to pull it out and so you’re just sitting in that discomfort until you take your shoes off. 

And don’t even get me started on sockettes. Their default position is basically under your foot scrunched up in a ball. 

But there’s a better option out there, you guys! It’s crew socks! Ones that preferably sit around four inches above your ankle.

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"Even if they are daggy dad vibes, that’s the point! You have to lean into it"

Now I know you think they’re a daggy choice from your primary school days. Your mum probably made you wear them but when you got to school, you rolled them under your feet to turn them into ankle socks. Or maybe you think they give off Dad vibes.

But the point is, even if they are daggy dad vibes, that’s the point! You have to lean into it.

Not only is it ‘farshunnn’ to do so, but daggy dads were onto something— they prioritised comfort and functionality, and you should too!

Ok, so you're on board - now what?

I'm going to assume you're convinced by now, so let me provide you with an easy-to-follow guide on the new sock rules that'll teach you when you should wear crew socks (hint: the answer is ‘always’ except for one exception). 

Sneakers > crew socks

Joggers > crew socks

Loafers > crew socks

Slides > crew socks

Boots > crew socks but ankle socks are permitted here, only because you literally can’t see them.

That doesn’t mean they won’t still be uncomfortable, though. In fact, it'll be even more of a sh*tfight to fix them when they ride down but that's a You Issue to deal with if you choose to die on this hill. 

Got it?

Oh, and before you ask. No, you can’t wear those hybrid socks that look like they are having an identity crisis between long and short and cut you off at an awkward lower calf position. 

It’s crew socks or nothing. 

Yes, that's right. You can rawdog it and go sockless for things like flats and heels. Just use your judgement, k?

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Closing thoughts 

So there you have it. It's time to embrace the crew sock revolution, and thank Gen Z for the tip. 

Or, you know, hold onto your ankle socks until they come back in fashion in 10 years!

Originally published as I'm a Gen Z; Sorry but you need to throw out your ankle socks