I broke an 'unspoken rule' at a cafe and my partner hasn't spoken to me since

"Cafes are manipulating people without them even knowing, I wasn't going to stand for it," the frustrated brunch-goer said. 

A man has revealed the 'innocent' thing he said to his wife while dining at a cafe that caused her to stop talking to him for two days afterwards. 

Taking to a popular online advice forum, the man said that the pair went out for brunch at a cafe, and he asked the waitress if he could order food and coffee at the same time. 

It was this simple request that led his wife to believe he was being "selfish" and "arrogant".

But what's the actual faux pas here?

Let's get to the bottom of it...

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Image: IStock

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"I find it annoying to be manipulated like that"

According to the man, who took to Reddit to vent, he was looking for a place to "get some food, hang with my wife and catch up and then go to work."

"It wasn't an evening meal to sit back and enjoy the experience. Nothing fancy."

Once they had found a cafe and discussed what they were going to eat, he told the waitress they were ready to order.

However, when he started ordering his food and drink, the waitress informed him that she "was meant only to take food orders after the drinks had been delivered."

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"She said I was jumping the queue"

But the man insisted on ordering at the same time, saying he had to get to work and knew what he wanted. 

The waitress eventually took their orders and left, and the man turned to his wife to discuss the strange policy. 

"I understand cafes and restaurants want you to drink once while you wait and then, when your food comes, to order another drink, but I find it annoying to be manipulated like that," he vented to his wife.

"I always order both at the same time and wait until the food comes to sip my drink. It's also a shorter time from arrival to leaving as I order as soon as I get there rather than being made to wait ten extra minutes."

But the wife, who is also a waitress, didn't see it this way, and shed light on why some cafes enforce this rule.

"My wife called me arrogant for ordering coffee and breakfast simultaneously. She said what I did meant I was jumping the queue and making others wait for their food longer," he explained.

"I said I wasn't jumping any queue and if there were others who hadn't ordered yet, they weren't in line. I didn't demand my food be made before everyone else. I just wanted to be in and out of the café as fast as possible to get to work.

"My wife was furious, but I think I'm ordering just my food and then waiting for it and saving myself ten unnecessary minutes."

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"Out of line"

In the comments, people weighed in on the debate, with one person claiming that "his wife was completely out of line."

"I used to be a waitress and I loved tables like this. Fewer trips and faster table turnover," that same person explained.

"Despite it being the cafe's policy to make you wait longer to try to sell you more, I don't see anything wrong with getting in and out fast, giving them your money, and freeing up the table for someone else to then make their own orders," a second pointed out.

"I actually like ordering drinks and food at the same time. I feel like it gives the waiters a bit of a break, putting two trips into one," a third agreed.

"Disrespectful of you"

On the other hand, others sided with the wife and suggested other reasons that could have been behind her comments.

"The wife may have wanted it to feel like more of a 'date' than a rushed bite to eat," someone suggested.

Another theorised about why cafes do this: "It might be easier and more efficient for the restaurant to stagger out orders. It's disrespectful of you to think you know more about something she has more experience with."

And a third said, "Maybe they do this because most people don't know what they want to order to eat when they sit down, but usually they'll always have the same coffee/drink order."

Originally published as I broke an 'unspoken rule' at a cafe and my partner hasn't spoken to me since