Psychologist Alison Sutton’s tips for talking to your teen

With new research revealing families are struggling to discuss their mental health, a psychologist has detailed how to have a conversation with your teenager.

With research from News Corp Australia’s Growth Distillery with Medibank revealing families are struggling to discuss mental health, psychologist Alice Sutton has shared her tips.

Show interest in what they do

Immerse yourself in and learn about the things that they love. For example, if you have a teenager that loves gaming, sit with them one day while they play and show up with a keenness to learn about the game and what they love about it.

You’ll be surprised at the other mental health conversations that can come up once you’ve established that mutual connection and interest in what your teenager loves to do.

Setting boundaries

While it’s important to set up safe spaces to connect with your teenager, it’s also important to set boundaries around which family rituals are a must. For example, having dinner together as a family for 30 minutes each night might be something that you set up as a non-negotiable – no screens, no distractions. These small things, over time, are building genuine connections and creating a safe space for your teen to feel like they can talk to you about their mental health and/or other struggles as they need to.

Medibank pyschologist Alison Sutton

Modelling openness and vulnerability

We can show others that it’s okay to talk about feelings by being open about our own emotions and mental health, and our own struggles. Being vulnerable yourself as a parent (within reason) can be so helpful to share with your teen. For example, when you have trouble with difficult thoughts or feelings – share how you manage these.

Share stress through SMS

Send them a text message. Sometimes teenagers will sit in another room at home and text their parent from there and can engage in a mental health conversations that way. It can be much more powerful than parents think.

Connect through music

Share songs on Apple Music or Spotify to build connection. A parent may find a song that they could send to their teen that may show that the parent knows how their child may be feeling. Having a shared playlist is also another way for parents to be connected to their kids while also keeping up to date with the music their children are into, and also a conversation starter: “I really liked that song you added to the playlist today”.

Be a safe space for your teen

When your teen does finally open up and share, it’s crucial to be an active listener and to respond without judgement. You need to create a safe space for all family members. This non-judgement needs to occur in the context of “active listening”, which is about encouraging all family members to listen without interrupting, dismissing or offering immediate solutions. After someone shares something vulnerable, it’s so important to respond with reassurance or comfort, rather than immediately trying to “fix” the problem or find a solution.

Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, helping Australian families better tackle mental wellbeing. To follow the series and access all stories, tips and advice, visit our new Health section.

Originally published as Psychologist Alison Sutton’s tips for talking to your teen