‘Revenge porn’: The real problem with MAFS scandal

There’s a naked OnlyFans photo “scandal” involving a MAFS bride. But the outrage is missing one key point.

“We’ve all seen an image of you pretty much naked on a couch,” Married At First Sight groom Cody Bromley told Domenica Calarco on the reality TV show.

This was after fellow bride Olivia Frazer uncovered her private OnlyFans account and shared her nude image among contestants.

At this point, Domenica and her partner were the only two contestants not to know about the photo.

In the lead up to the show airing, Nine was spouting the naked photo incident as a giant scandal that would be humiliating for the subject of the photo. And, the fact it was taken from Domenica’s secret OnlyFans account was presented in a way that this detail somehow made it ‘worse’.

news.com.au’s newsChat panellists — our project with the Judith Nielson Institute to share the views of Gen Z — have a completely different take.

Why are we still seeing naked photos as a scandal?

“Let’s not get this twisted, that’s sexism. Sex work is real work and sharing nudes without consent is revenge porn,” shares Rachael.

She’s not wrong. We’ve all seen celebrity women being shamed for leaked nudes that they had sent to their partners. Why are we still shaming the victim, and not the person who shared someone else’s nudes without permission?

newsChat panellists Angus, Rachael, Jahin, Nich, Amaani and Eleemarni.

Apparently Domenica has an OnlyFans, but the only question is: so what?

“I’m not shocked this happened,” said Amaani. “When we look at how women are dealt with in Australia — we see this in parliament, we see this in corporate settings, we see this day-to-day, we see this on the news — we see on almost a daily basis that women and women’s sexuality are weaponised to victimise them.”

“It made my stomach turn,” agreed Nich. “I thought we were past general slut-shaming, but apparently we’re not.”

Nich went on to explain that OnlyFans, and sex work in general, is not a shameful thing. In fact, it’s fairly common.

“I have a lot of friends with OnlyFans,” Nich said, “I have a lot of friends who are sex workers.”

What’s more, when asked if they think this would be a scandal if it was one of the grooms in a naked photo, the answer was a clear no.

“It wouldn’t even be on the television, they would have cut it,” said Nich.

“Or [they would have] played it for laughs,” Angus added.

Is Olivia the real villain?

Despite the fact Olivia — the woman fast turning into this season’s villain — was the one to share Dom’s nudes around the group, our panellists were quick to question the reality of how Olivia is being presented.

“The girl on girl stuff this season is horrible, and I think the internalised misogyny stuff is really nasty,” Rachael said.

“These women are butting heads, but a lot of the rhetoric around this is ‘good girl’, ‘bad girl’, ‘nasty girl’ and I don’t rate it. I think it’s a bigger conversation we need to have about women in reality shows.”

“I do feel for both parties that we’re definitely in a production system here, we’re getting roles picked out for these two women.”

Is Olivia the mean girl she's being made out to be?

As for trusting that Olivia really is as mean as she’s being made out to be — despite *that* bridesmaid story she loves to tell — it’s hard to tell what’s her, and what’s the production.

“Every show needs a villain, it’s good for TV,” Jahin summarised. “The experts are the ones who put together the couples … surely they’re aware of these traits that individuals have? So I would assume they’re encouraging this sort of behaviour.”

“They’re put into this pressure cooker situation where if you do more, you’ll get more clout — the whole premise of the show is quite destructive.”

“At the very least these kinds of traits and behaviours are exaggerated,” Angus agreed, “and at the most [they’re] probably completely fabricated in some instances.”

Is it irresponsible to show so much toxic masculinity?

The other big thing this season of MAFS is being criticised for is the high levels of sexism and toxic masculinity. To be clear, it’s not all from the men either — early on in the season Selin Mengu had a go at her ‘husband’ for daring to be a man who shares his emotions.

“They put toxic masculinity on a pedestal … and they showcase toxic relationships as the ideal,” explains Nich.

“There are adults who are already abusive and toxic to their partners who’ll see this happening on the show and be [have it reinforced] that it’s the right thing to do.”

‘I would assume [the experts] are encouraging this sort of behaviour.’

One of these couples really demonstrating micro-aggressions that come with an ingrained toxic masculinity, we don’t have to look any further than Cody Bromley and his partner Selina Chhaur.

Right at the start of the season, the man that the show loves to describe as “laid-back”, told Selina he wasn’t attracted to her because of her Asian features. Don’t worry though, he was sure to throw in a “I’m not racist” line before saying it.

Despite this, Selina stuck with him, and has now even made it through the home visits section of the ‘experiment’. In among the generally grotty apartment that is not acceptable for anyone over 24, Selina walked into Cody’s bedroom to find that his housemate had hung a photoshopped picture of the couple using watermelons to suggest oral sex — and she was supposed to laugh.

“For Dominica to sexualise herself is ‘bad and wrong’,” Angus pointed out, “but for the housemate to sexually harass this woman he’s never met before — that’s fine, and funny, and OK?”

“To walk into a room and see this kind of picture — I can imagine the kind of feeling she would have had, immediately that sense of being unsafe,” said Rachael.

“It’s disgusting, it’s not a funny photo. For Cody to not support her, or say anything other than laugh, is appalling.”

‘It’s disgusting, it’s not a funny photo.’

“It’s classic sexist frat bro behaviour,” agreed Nich. “If I walked into a house and I saw that on the wall, you could bet I’d be walking back out of that house within three minutes — after I’ve had a word to say.”

Amaani was quick to point out that while it was the men’s bad behaviour, the producers were more than happy to allow the kind of “joke” that “laid-back” men all over Australia have been using for decades.

“[Producers] 100 per cent weaponised this situation, they put her there deliberately,” she said. “They don’t have to air that.”

From perpetuating female stereotypes and demonising female sexuality, to continually airing abusive relationship red flags, and encouraging toxic masculinity — it seems that Gen Z are pretty over MAFS.

“There just seems to be a piling up of red flags of sexism, manipulation and abuse,” says Nich. “Of course, for views. It’s appalling”.

Want to join the conversation?

Want to share your opinions on being a Gen Z person in the modern world? If you’re between 18 and 24, get in touch with me at [e-mail].

Originally published as ‘Revenge porn’: The real problem with MAFS scandal