James Weir recaps Married At First Sight Australia 2022 episode 22

A MAFS wife’s gobsmacking form of payback is revealed — just moments before she’s involved in a fight with a smashed glass. James Weir recaps.

The dark side of Married At First Sight’s goody two shoes wife is exposed with the revelation of a “poo dress” revenge scheme on Monday night that, in all honesty, sounds more horrific than the sorta-glassing it precedes.

Admit it. Your mind is buzzing as it tries to comprehend what the hell this crazy dame did to the damn dress.

All you need to know right now is the sorta-glassing in tonight’s wild wife fight is sane by comparison.

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Dom and Olivia are still fuming after they got at each other’s throats during Sunday night’s commitment ceremony.

We watch Domenica furiously shuffling around her apartment in her plush Vegemite slippers.

And when we check in on Olivia, she offers a glimpse at the dark side to come.

“Dom and Jack are so full of sh*t,” she sneers. “She’s a little yapping chihuahua.”

Just a reminder, this fight started over Carolina. And what’s she up to during the aftermath of the feud? Ha! Pah-lease. She’s too busy to think about some silly tiff. There are margaritas to drink and affairs to pursue.

She runs off to meet Daniel in an unusually dark and abandoned restaurant. The conversation is electric.

“You look very nice and green,” he tells her.

I’d kill to hear a guy say I look nice and green.

It’s all Carolina needs to hear. Seconds later, Dan’s grabbing her butt in an alleyway while they make out.

“I’m getting horny,” he whispers.

We loiter behind a stack of old crates and chairs to film the groping.

She’s a handful in many other ways, Daniel — just ask Dion … her husband.

At first we feel sorry for Dion — at home, alone, while the woman he’s paired with in this experiment is out getting butt-grabbed by another man. But he’ll be fine. All the contestants are heading out of town for a weekend getaway and he has treated himself to a new Juicy Couture tracksuit.

This is what you’re missing out on, Carolina, FYI.

You know the only thing louder than Dion’s fashion? Domenica’s voice.

She’s complaining about her meh sex life to the girls but doesn’t realise her husband Jack is within earshot, along with all the other boys.

“We haven’t had sex in almost two weeks,” she whines. “I’ve just gotten to a point where I feel like he never makes me feel sexy. I’ve always been a very sexual person so it’s actually very confronting being with Jack and not having that reciprocated.”

Jack’s gutted. Humiliated! Almost more humiliated than the time Dom told everyone he never flushes the toilet.

Meh sex and unflushed toilets? Not a good review.

He ends up confronting her but she flips the blame which makes him scoff, “f**k off,” and then she stomps away while screaming, “Don’t you ever tell me to f**k off!”

Can you imagine being the owners of this beautiful million-dollar estate and flipping on the TV to find the MAFS lunatics having sex arguments on your pristine lawn?

We’re just gonna focus on the stunning rose garden in the background.

It’s the storm before the storm. With Dom riled up and the girls at each other’s throats, producers decide to supercharge the ugliness by splitting up the wives and husbands for a night of boozing.

We already know that this is where the smashed glass incident will take place, but the lead up is ominous and important to note.

“I don’t back down and change my opinion to suit other people,” Olivia tells us while she changes outfits and studies herself in the mirror.

“I was a bridesmaid for a dear friend. She picked out these awful brown bridesmaid dresses. When I owned the dress for six months, she asked me if I liked them. And I was like, ‘I don’t, I hate them, they’re disgusting. Like, why are you making me dress like a poo?’

“And then she got cranky with me and she fired me from being a bridesmaid. And then she asked for the dress back. I cut it up and sent it to her in five pieces with the kitchen scissors just chop, chop, chop.”

Umm. Wow. Just … wow. And as she’s telling us about the twisted poo dress payback, she’s smirking. Who on earth would reveal this story about themselves?

“People think I’m just a sweetheart. But, I can be bitchy. I can be awful at times.”

Yeah, we figured. Also, we’re gonna need to see photos of the poo dress pls. Preferably before you sliced it up.

If karma’s real, it will inflict you with a lifetime of poo dresses.

This weird anecdote foreshadows the dark side of Olivia that’s about to be exposed moments later at the girls’ night. She has caught wind of her arch nemesis Dom’s confession about her meh sex life.

So when the wine starts flowing, Olivia decides to take a passive aggressive shot.

“You guys, I had the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had during sex this afternoon. I legit blacked out. Has that ever happened to anyone before?” she places a palm on her chest and stares Dom in the eye.

Poo dresses? Blackout orgasms? WHO ARE YOU?

The statement lands like a … like a … Well, it lands like an Al in a pond.

Across the farm, the show’s adult toddler has stripped off and hurled his body into a dam.

That’s it, we’re calling your mother immediately. Samantha!

By the time we get back to the ladies, they’ve all cut sick on each other.

“You don’t have to like Dion, but it doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch to Dion!” Dom screams at Carolina.

Carolina fires back. “And it doesn’t mean you have to be a b*tch to me!”

Olivia decides it’s her turn again. “You know what Dom? I’m sick of hearing you yell — all the f**king time! I’m sick of your voice yelling all the f*king time! I’m bored of your voice! I’m f**king bored!”

Ugh, Olivia shut ya mouth and go cut up someone else’s ugly dress.

This hits a nerve with Dom. Particularly because it’s her loud voice that got her in trouble just hours earlier when all of the Southern Highlands heard her slagging off her husband’s sex skills.

“That’s just the way I talk!” she screams. “It’s my voice! My entire f**king life I’ve been f**king told that my voice is-”

Suddenly, Dom picks up a cup and smashes it on the table — shards of glass flying everywhere in a spray of liquid.

What a waste of free alcohol.

Please note the shards of glass flying mid-air.

Then she stands up and looms over Olivia and Carolina — who are terrified. Surprisingly, Wet Cat Kate is as placid as we’ve ever seen her.

This is why the MAFS lunatics should only ever be served drinks in plastic sippy cups.

“It’s literally how I talk!” Dom sobs before staggering off into the shadowy backyard, alone and wailing.

The camera lingers on the intact stem of the smashed glass.

That’s an artefact for the MAFS museum.

Stunned silence falls over the patio. What we all just witnessed was shockingly aggressive. But still nowhere near as pathological as Olivia and her poo dress revenge.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

Originally published as James Weir recaps Married At First Sight Australia 2022 episode 22