Ricky Gervais shocks audience with opening monologue

FROM attacking the broadcaster to questioning Caitlyn Jenner, host Ricky Gervais held no punches while opening the 73rd Golden Globe Awards.

CONTROVERSIAL British comedian Ricky Gervais held no punches when he launched into his fourth stint as host of the Golden Globe Awards.

After hosting the 67th, 68th and 69th Golden Globes to a mixed critical response, Gervais thought his time was up.

But he was surprised to be invited back to host this year’s 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards.

Launching into the monologue, Gervais described the audience as “disgusting pill-popping sexual deviant scum”.

“I wanna do this monologue and then go into hiding, OK? Not even Sean Penn will find me. Snitch,” Gervais said, referencing Penn’s recent interview with Mexican fugitive El Chapo.

“Hello, and welcome to the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel, with all these rich, beautiful celebrities having the time of their lives, let’s hope no one spoils that, yeah?

“Relax, I’m going to try to be nice. You’re global megastars with amazing talent ... most of you. A few of you just married well. You know who you are, we all do. We all do.”

NBC

“We’re live on NBC and it’s right that NBC host this award show because they’re the only network that are truly fair and impartial and that’s because they’re the only network with zero nomination so ... nothing in it for them tonight, they don’t care obviously.”

CAITLYN JENNER

“But as I say I’m going to be nice tonight, I’ve changed. not as much as Bruce Jenner obviously, now Caitlyn Jenner of course. What a year she’s had.

“She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers but ... you can’t have everything, can you? Not at the same time.”

HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS

“(He) just told me that if I say anything offensive or crass or resort to innuendo he’s going to come out here and personally pull me off. So that’s an offer I couldn’t refuse. Yes, yes, that is the level. An old man pulling me off.”

Gervais then took aim at hot shot Hollywood producers like Harvey Weinstein by implying they buy awards.

“One Hollywood publication said me hosting would mean that some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of. As if film stars would stay away from the chance of winning a Golden Globe, particularly if their film company has already paid for it.”

ROMAN POLANSKI

“So what’s happened in this last year in the crazy business we call show. The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. The Catholic Church are furious about the film as it exposes the fact that 5 per cent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.”

JENNIFER LAWRENCE + WAGE EQUALITY

“Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood and she received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying ‘how the hell can a 25-year-old live on $51 million?’ “Joking aside, of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. And I’d like to say right now I’m getting paid exactly the same as Tina and Amy did last year.

“I know there were two of them but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money, is it? It’s their stupid fault. It’s funny cause it’s true.”

Host with the most controversy ... Ricky Gervais hosting the 73rd Annual Golden Globe Awards in California. Picture: Paul Drinkwater/NBC

THE MARTIAN & PIXELS

“The Hollywood Foreign Press deemed The Martian a comedy and hence Matt Damon is here tonight, so that worked a treat didn’t it. To be fair The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels, but then again so was Schindler’s List. It’s just a film.

“All female remakes are the big thing. There’s a female remake of Ghostbusters, there’s going to be a female remake of Ocean’s Eleven. And this is brilliant for the studios cause they get guaranteed box office results and they don’t have to spend much money on the cast. Shut up, I don’t care.”

ADVICE FOR WINNERS

“Listen, if you do win tonight remember that no one cares about that award as much as you do, OK? Don’t get emotional, it’s embarrassing,” he said.

“That award is, no offence, worthless. It's a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, that’s all it is. I’ve got three, I’ve got Golden Globes myself, one is a door stop, one I use to hit burglars with one and one I keep by the bed to — it doesn’t matter why, it’s mine, I won it fair and square, it’s just the right shape and size. Yeah, to be clear that was a joke about shoving Golden Globes I’ve won up my ass ... and they asked me to host four times, Jesus! Let’s do the show.”

FULL LIST OF WINNERS

Best Motion Picture, Drama: The Revenant

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama: Brie Larson, Room

Best Motion Picture, Comedy: The Martian

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama: Taraji P. Henson, Empire

Best Director, Motion Picture: Alejandro González Iñárritu, The Revenant

Best TV Series, Drama: Mr. Robot, USA Network

Best Original Song, Motion Picture: “Writing’s on the Wall,” Spectre

Best Actress in a Limited-Series or TV Movie: Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel

Best Foreign Language Film: Son of Saul, Hungary

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy: Gael García Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture: Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Best Animated Feature Film: Inside Out

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: Matt Damon, The Martian

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama: Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie: Christian Slater, Mr. Robot

Best Actor in a Limited-Series or TV Movie: Oscar Isaac, Show Me a Hero

Best TV Movie or Limited-Series: Wolf Hall, PBS

Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy: Mozart in the Jungle, Amazon Video

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Limited-Series or TV Movie: Maura Tierney, The Affair

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Cecil B. DeMille Award: Denzel Washington

Originally published as Ricky Gervais shocks audience with opening monologue