Suspiria review: Dancing on the grave of deadly dull horror
A deliriously pretentious and utterly dreadful movie, Suspiria amounts to an unnecessary reworking of the cult 1977 Italian horror freak-out of the same name.
A deliriously pretentious and utterly dreadful movie, Suspiria amounts to an unnecessary reworking of the cult 1977 Italian horror freak-out of the same name.
The original only ran for 90 minutes, and still runs rings around this limp new effort, which inexplicably adds an extra hour to the reckoning.
Dakota Johnson stars as Susie, a gun American dancer who thinks it might be a blast to join a weird dance troupe working out of West Berlin. Spoiler alert: it will not be a blast.
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However, if you are familiar with the original Suspiria, it will come as no surprise to learn it will be a bloodbath.
What follows is a bizarre, yet boring combo of bum-numbing performance-art dance sequences and grotesque gore-mongering.
Sure, this expensive-looking production is exceedingly well-shot for what is supposed to be a hardline horror movie, but looks aren’t everything when a mystifying storyline like this gives you nothing to go on.
If all that choreography and carnage starts grating on your nerves, just wait until you’ve had your fill of Tilda Swinton in dire dual roles as a manipulative troupe director and a wheezy, skeezy 80-year-old man.
A complete folly for acclaimed director Luca Guadagnino, who in the space of 12 months has gone from crafting a masterpiece in Call Me By Your Name to cranking out a mess that will have you calling for an Uber.
SUSPIRIA (MA 15+)
* (out of 5)
Director: Luca Guadagnino (A Bigger Splash)
Starring: Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton, Chloe Grace Moretz
Danced to death by dullness
Originally published as Suspiria review: Dancing on the grave of deadly dull horror
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