Blinky Bill the Movie is cringeworthy in almost every way

REVIEW: Only take the kids to Blinky Bill the Movie this school holidays if they’ve been very, very naughty. This is why it’ll disappoint you.

BLINKY BILL THE MOVIE (G)

Director: Deane Taylor (feature debut)

Starring: the voices of Ryan Kwanten, Robin McLeavy, David Wenham, Toni Collette, Barry Humphries.

Rating: *

Don’t blink. Just miss it.

Hey, kids!

If your parents reveal plans to put you anywhere near Blinky Bill the Movie this school holidays, you are quite within your rights to ask why you are being punished in this way.

When stacked up against its most immediate box-office competitor, this crummy computer-animated koala is no match whatsoever for the happy-go-lucky heroics of Oddball’s prize pooch.

EVERY CURRENT CINEMA RELEASE RATED

LEIGH PAATSCH’S 100 MOVIES TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE

Behind the times: The animation in Blinky Bill the Movie is not up to current cartooning standards.

In a misguided bid to apply a modernising makeover to the title character created by Dorothy Wall in 1933, the vivid essence of the much-loved marsupial imp has been lost completely.

It all starts with the soulless lead vocal work of Ryan Kwanten as Blinky Bill himself, but in no way does it end there.

A cringe-inducing screenplay is another major culprit, with its multiple mentions of the word “butt” (can’t recall that one in any of the many Blinky-B books, can you?) and semi-seedy asides such as a louche lizard’s reference to “ereptile dysfunction”. Ugh.

In its blander, less irritating moments, Blinky Bill the Movie still comes a cropper due to the clunky visuals driving the production.

How much can a koala bear?: Blinky Bill the Movie is a one star disappointment.

Compared to current cartooning standards, you would swear this stale slab of illustrated margarine hailed from the mid-2000s (a lifetime ago in the fast-spinning world of CG animation.)

The efforts of a top-flight support cast — which includes David Wenham, Toni Collette, Deborah Mailman and the legendary Barry Humphries — have been wasted on a bush-league production that really should have been released straight into the wilds of home video.

Originally published as Blinky Bill the Movie is cringeworthy in almost every way