“I don’t remember anything” Sheridan reveals his shock anxiety attack

Hugh Sheridan’s dramatic disappearance from the public sphere had many fearing for his mental health and the actor has now opened up about what was behind his hospitalisation.

Actor Hugh Sheridan has opened up about the anxiety attack that derailed his life and saw him hospitalised.

The famed Packed To The Rafters star, who recently made headlines after revealing he was att­racted to both men and women, says he woke to find himself in a bed at St Vincent’s Hospital on November 20 following a blackout.

The shock hospitalisation came after Sheridan was sensationally dropped from an upcoming production of Hedwig And The Angry Inch in which he was set to play the titular genderqueer character.

Sydney Festival producers made the shock decision to axe Sheridan after protests from trans advocates that the role should only be played by a trans performer.

Hugh Sheridan has opened up about his anxiety attack which he describes as a “wake-up” call. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

That setback, coupled with what he says was an intense working schedule, led to the attack which he describes as a ‘wake-up call’.

“Basically in the days leading up to it, I had performed a Christmas pageant in Adelaide, I had done a show for Soho House International, I had done appearances for the Qantas 100th birthday celebrations … then that night I had realised that something was going on with (Hedwig) and it all just hit me,” Sheridan says.

“The doctor said to me that sometimes the brain can just hit a switch like an eject button. I didn’t remember anything. My sister Zoe suffers from epilepsy and she says she experiences the same thing when she has a seizure. But it was at that point I ­realised that I was suffering a ­little bit more than I realised.

“And I needed to focus on what was really going on.”

Hugh Sheridan made up as Hedwig.

Sheridan went to ground following the incident, disappearing from social media and prompting concerns for his mental health.

However, the singer and actor assures fans he is well and healthy. He adds that there is no bad blood with Sydney Festival organisers and has begun ­rehearsing his comeback vehicle, Hughman, a one-man show which will open the Adelaide Fringe Festival in March.

“This is my job and I believe that everything happens for a reason and whatever is happening in my life will only make me a stronger person,” he says. “If anything this experience has made me realise what is really important.”

POSITIVE HUGH CHANNELS ENERGY INTO NEW SHOW

In psychology speak it is often regarded as a ‘breakthrough’ moment. Rehearsing for his performance at Carols In The Domain last week, Hugh Sheridan caught a glimpse of himself
in a mirror while singing — of all songs — It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year.

“There were tears streaming down my face,” Sheridan says.

“Here I am singing It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. I mean, the irony. The irony. I didn’t even realise I was sobbing.

“And then I just started laughing. I just felt like what else could I do?”

The irony being that for the beloved Aussie performer, the past month has been an emotional maelstrom running hot off the back of what was supposed to be a personal and professional high.

It has been a year of highs and lows for Hugh Sheridan. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

After years of self-reflection Sheridan decided – in October to speak out publicly about his sexuality, penning a personal essay in Stellar magazine about the fact he was — and always has been — fluid in his relationships with both men and women.

Soon after it was announced he would play the stage role of a lifetime, the lead of the ‘genderqueer’ rock star in the Sydney Festival production of John Cameron Mitchell’s acclaimed Hedwig And The Angry Inch — the same role that earned Neil Patrick Harris a Tony award on Broadway in 2014.

So passionate was he about the role that it formed the catalyst for Sheridan’s move from his adopted home in Los Angeles back to Sydney.

He also passed on another major opportunity — the lead in the Lyric Theatre’s production of Pippin — to throw himself headfirst into Hedwig.

For the boy who grew into a man on Australian TV screens as Ben Rafter on the beloved TV series Packed To The Rafters, it seemed Sheridan was ready for his big second act.

Sheridan moved back from LA to Sydney. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

“It was such a stretch from how people had seen me as Ben (Rafter) and I just thought, what better way to show people what I am capable of,” says Sheridan.

“I was just so unbelievably excited about it.”

But then the planets shifted.

There were some dark corners of the media — print and social — which labelled Sheridan’s coming out as ‘unsolicited’ and ‘cynical’, with some seeming to take umbrage that the actor took so long to spill the beans.

And then, worst of all, Hedwig slipped away.

Caving under howls of protest from transgender advocates who argued Sheridan, who is bisexual but not transgender, had no right to portray a transqueer character, the play’s producers axed the star and shelved the production entirely.

It was Sheridan’s tipping point.

Hugh Sheridan as Ben Rafter. Picture: Supplied

The following day the actor was photographed leaving St Vincent’s Hospital with his ride-or-die bestie Jessica Marais clasping his hand. Rumours of self-harming and even a suicide attempt rippled around Sydney.

The truth, he says, wasn’t quite so dramatic. But it was, he says, a wake-up call.

“I literally woke up in hospital and didn’t remember how I got there and the doctors told me I had had an anxiety attack,” Sheridan tells Sunday Confidential.

“Basically in the days leading up to it, I had performed a Christmas pageant in Adelaide, I had done a show for Soho House International, I had done appearances for the Qantas 100th birthday celebrations … then that night I had realised that something was going on with (Hedwig) and it all just hit me.

“The doctor said to me that sometimes the brain can just hit a switch like an eject button.

“At that point I realised that I was suffering a little bit more than I realised. And I realised it was time to focus on what was really going on and sit with it.”

Nevertheless the criticisms surrounding Hedwig hit hard for Sheridan who declines to discuss the decision made by producers to halt the show, saying only that he still dreams of one day playing the role.

Hugh Sheridan is writing and producing his own new show. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

“Of course I would love to,” he says. “I’m a performer … that’s my job.”

In the meantime, Sheridan is bouncing back the only way he knows how — by working harder.

Allowing himself a few days to acknowledge his grief, Sheridan began blazing a new trail, writing and producing his own show, Hughman, which he will perform at the opening of the Adelaide Fringe Festival in March.

Following that is a national tour.

It is his most personal work yet, he says. A ‘phoenix from the ashes’ production designed to show the audience his full range.

“If nothing else this whole experience has made me realise how important this new show is going to be,” he says. “It will be wildly fun and exciting with a tonne of electricity and mostly I just want it to make the audience feel totally uplifted.”

Sheridan says he taught himself to DJ specifically for the production which will combine dancing, music, light shows and singing in a ‘sensory spectacular’.

“It’s going to be full of positive energy which is right where I am at the moment,” he says.

Originally published as “I don’t remember anything” Sheridan reveals his shock anxiety attack