Christian Wilkins on dating, pronouns and his milestone Melbourne Cup Carnival role

In one of his most candid interviews yet Christian Wilkins has lifted the lid on his private life, talking dating, pronouns and his famous Today show family.

Christian Wilkins contacted fashion designers before he’d even put pen to paper on his latest job offer as an ambassador for the prestigious Melbourne Cup Carnival.

Logistics be damned, his mind immediately wandered to wardrobe.

“Victoria Racing Club gave me an expression of interest, and I literally reached out to Gucci the next day and I was like, ‘Hi, I’m going to be an ambassador, can I please borrow something,’” Wilkins laughs. “They hadn’t even officially offered me the role, but I was just so excited to do it.”

When one imagines the spectacle of the spring carnival, flashes of cleverly constructed fascinators, flower crowns and centrefold-worthy frocks come to mind.

But it’s not often that menswear hits the same whimsy highs as its female counterpart.

Enter Wilkins, a social media superstar with rich pedigree, who will undoubtedly be a fashion highlight among all punters when Derby Day kicks off the carnival at Flemington on Saturday.

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VRC Ambassador Christian Wilkins is gearing up for the 2022 Spring Racing Carnival. Picture: Ian Currie

The 27-year-old’s appointment as a representative marks a major shift in VRC’s messaging, with the long-running Fashions on the Field competition going gender-neutral for the first time in its history.

The partnership is a match made in heaven, as Wilkins – for years now – has been redefining what it means to be a man in Australia.

“I feel like [the cup carnival] was so guided by these very strict, gender-bound rules and to break that open and just allow people to express themselves how they want to be, that’s such a key ethos that I live my life by,” Wilkins tells news.com.au.

“I definitely think we’re a bit slow on the uptake, but having an institution like VRC which is so historic, so ingrained in our culture, to recognise that change, it’s a big step in a good direction and it makes me so excited to be the face of that.”

And yes, for those curious, given his flare for femme fashion, Wilkins identifies as male.

“I do get asked [about pronouns] a lot. I think that all gender is non-binary, and at no point do I look at myself and I’m like, ‘I’m a man.’ But he/him still just does resonate with me more than they/them,” Wilkins says.

“I’d say that I’m non-binary, but I also still very much see myself in he/him pronouns.

“I think that we’re constantly discovering ourselves. It’s not like I feel conflicted enough to constantly be looking in and being like, ‘What sits right with me?’ I’m just living my life and if at some point, something feels more reflective of who I am, then sure, I’ll say it. But for right now, I feel very comfortable and very happy.”

While Wilkins has been unashamedly expressing himself in the public realm for some time now, privately, it hasn’t always been that way.

The son of Today showbiz veteran Richard Wilkins recalls being shaken when, aged just 18, he was given some damning words of advice from a record industry representative.

Wilkins had just begun dipping his toe into the pool of self-discovery, experimenting with eyeliner and make-up.

Wilkins said he first began publicly experimenting with feminine fashion aged 18.

He was terrified of being ‘judged’ before finally embracing who he is. Picture: Jonathan Ng

“I remember one of the first times that I ever went out, I met this guy who used to work in the record industry here. And once he found out that I was dad’s son, he said to me, ‘I will make sure your dad never finds out about you and make sure you never come out of the closet, otherwise you’ll never make it.’

“And I wasn’t even dressing how I dress now. I always wanted to, but I didn‘t necessarily feel confident because I was kind of scared that people would judge me. And hearing that definitely shook me, because I always knew that I wanted to get into this industry and I was worried that I wouldn’t be accepted.

“It took me a while to get over that.”

‘Never felt necessary’ to come out

Wilkins admits he never properly had the dreaded “coming out” conversation with his parents, including mother Michelle Burke.

But this had nothing to do with shame.

Wilkins had idolised Disney princesses since he was a child. In the beloved animations, he saw himself better reflected as the figure in the sparkly gown being chased by Prince Charming.

His parents already knew. In fact, they encouraged his penchant for theatrics.

“I was definitely aware my mum and dad embraced who I was becoming,” Wilkins says. “They encouraged me to do ballet, they encouraged me if I wanted to wear a dress.

“When I was in kindergarten, I was doing soccer and I was also doing ballet, and I was realising that not all the boys wanted to do both and that I was slightly different.

“So, I never really came out to my parents, because it never felt necessary to. There was never this expectation that, ‘You’re straight until proven otherwise.’”

Aside from the support of his loved ones, Wilkins credits discovering like-minded people in the LGBTQ+ community for giving him the confidence to “screw the haters” and be his true self.

And so, somewhere in 2016 or 2017, Wilkins attended a public event with his father when he took the plunge and slipped into his most fabulous outfit to date.

“I wore a black lace shirt and a black skirt, and that was the first time I had really worn something a bit feminine,” he says.

“And my dad was just like, ‘Whoa, look what we have here.’ And I remember that being the moment where I was like, ‘Yeah, this is me dressing how I want to dress now.’”

Wilkins has nothing but praise for his famous father. Picture: Tim Hunter

Family in the spotlight

Having a family member in the public eye for his entire life, as well as considering Today co-host Karl Stefanovic a “second father”, has admittedly forced Wilkins to develop a thick skin.

In saying that, he still struggles when the two TV legends become the subject of scrutiny, particularly when Today underwent a massive shake-up in late 2019, which saw Stefanovic and Wilkins lose their long-held seats at the breakfast table.

“Whenever I hear people talking ill upon my dad or Karl, who I’m also really close to, that hurts me because these are actually really talented, really passionate, lovely men and neither of them deserve anything negative,” he says.

“People don’t see the work that goes into what they do. And especially in this day and age, so few people that work in this industry are actually passionate about what they do, and it’s not about the fame, and they’re one of the few people that, fame aside, just love what they do and are so good at it.”

He’s full of praise for his famous father now, but Wilkins admits it took him a hot minute to realise his dad was “cool“ – the penny dropping in 2009 at a blockbuster film premiere in London.

“I was such a Harry Potter fan, and at the Half Blood Prince premiere, Daniel Radcliffe gets out of the limo and all of the world’s media was lined up, and he skips half the line of English press, walks down the carpet to my dad and goes, ‘Richard, how are you? It’s great to see you, thanks for coming.’

“And I was like, ‘Harry Potter knows my father?’ That was probably the first time I was like, ‘Oh sh*t, my dad’s cool.’”

But having a cool dad, a line-up of glitzy gigs and a very public life makes things a little difficult on the dating front.

Wilkins, who is happily single, says he has so far struggled to find someone who values his feminine side.

“Within the gay community, I feel like masculinity is still very much prioritised as the ideal, and I definitely struggle to find someone that appreciates the fact that I can still be him and feminine,” he says.

“But on the flip side, I’m so good doing me right now. My friends are like, ‘Now’s the time you’re going to meet the love of your life.’ And I’m like, ‘I ain’t got time to meet the love of my life.’”

‘Lucky to love what I do’

You’d be forgiven for, on a surface level, thinking Wilkins is a diva. His backless dress at this year’s Logies gave Mariah Carey a run for her millions.

Christian’s Logies dress went viral this year. Picture: Chris Hyde/Getty Images

But any brand, publicist or punter who has dealt with him will tell you he is far from one.

Wilkins prides himself on work ethic and commitment, all while effortlessly leaving a sprinkling of fairy dust in his wake with his warmth and happy-go-lucky attitude.

“I think [who I am] is a combination of the fact that my dad is such a professional and I always grew up watching him be professional and appreciating it, to my mum who doesn‘t work in the industry and was very private,” he says.

“And really, I just feel very lucky to love what I do. So few people get to really love their job, and I appreciate the effort that everyone else goes to to make that work.

“And isn’t that the best? To get to love what you do and just appreciate it for what it is? I’m glad that that makes me.”

And with an exciting yet-to-be-announced project in the works, Wilkins’ fairytale is only just beginning.

Originally published as Christian Wilkins on dating, pronouns and his milestone Melbourne Cup Carnival role