Risky play? No way! Parents too scared to let kids stray to next supermarket aisle
Experts and parents agree kids need to take risks and be given freedom, but some adults are too scared to let their kids stray into the next supermarket aisle, let alone climb a tree.
Kids need to get dirty, take risks and play outside, but many mums and dads are too scared to let their kids stray into the next supermarket aisle, let alone climb a tree, experts say.
In the 1980s, parents would throw open the door and tell their kids to “go out and play but be home for dinner,” but childhood looks very different now.
It’s become the norm for modern parents to take a “cotton-wool approach” to protect their kids from harm while rarely - if ever - letting them out of their sight.
Professor Tonia Gray from Western Sydney University has undertaken extensive research and says parents are open to the idea of risky play.
This includes rough and tumble play (eg jumping or chasing), play with heights (eg climbing logs or trees), and speed and motion play (eg playing on a swing or slide).
“There’s risks on so many levels,” she said.
“Whether you buy a house for the first time or you scale a mountain, there’s your perceived risk versus real risk.
“And what we do is play with that to find the sweet spot. Of course a lot people may say that’s nasty and dangerous, but in reality if it’s managed correctly, you can mitigate risk.”
An overprotective approach from many parents has sparked a countermovement promoting free-range parenting, which encourages kids to test their limits and develop independence away from constant supervision.
Lenore Skenazy, founder of Let Grow, has been advocating for free-range parenting since her 2008 newspaper column ‘Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone’ went viral.
In April, she gave a TED Talk about how “the adult takeover of childhood” has created an anxiety crisis.
“Parents want to give their kids independence and recognise its importance,” she said, citing University of Michigan research.
“But the majority of parents of kids aged 9 to 11 - which is tweens - will not let them play in the park with a friend, will not let them walk to a friend’s house.
“And if they’re at the store shopping together only 50 per cent will let them go into another aisle.
“We gotta get brave enough to send our kids to the canned food aisle or to the park before their voice changes.”
Professor Gray said risky play was being embraced by more and more Aussie parents to nurture resilient and capable children.
Her newly published research assessed parents’ views about an outdoor nature park called Boongaree in Berry, NSW. She and her colleagues found the park was supported by parents due to the “high-risk involvement”.
“Parents are realising we’ve cotton-wool wrapped our children way too much,” she said.
“Those teachable moments are actually smackbang in the middle of a mistake and ask ‘what went wrong? is there another path we could have taken?’
“It’s about helping guide them, not directing their journey.
“Learning from mistakes is the only way we learn. So allow them to fail and to embrace risk.”
But when it comes to putting risky play into practice, she said it was important for parents and educators to “build it up slowly” over time.
“There’s little things like when a child is climbing up a ladder, always remind them two feet or one hand or two hands and one foot - that’s your safety mechanism,” she said.
“It’s about building their own capacity to judge, their resilience, their problem solving and their creativity.
“Sure you can be in the background hovering but don’t suffocate them. The whole idea is to empower them.”
The Boongaree playground was the site of a number of injuries when it first opened, prompting stricter safety guidelines.
