Bullying on the rise as Flinders Uni study reveals disturbing reality of teen ‘banter’

Kids are telling each other to commit suicide, wishing murder upon others or telling them to drown, a disturbing Flinders study reveals. But it’s far from harmless ribbing.

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Students are telling friends they hope they get murdered, drowned or killed in car crashes and then dismissing it as “banter”, a Flinders University survey reveals.

The survey, which finds bullying is rising and wellbeing declining, also shows SA pupils claim to be valued by “how mean and careless they can be”.

One in three of more than 800 South Australian and Northern Territory children surveyed, aged 11 to 16, said they were victimised, compared with a quarter during a similar study a decade ago.

Researchers Dr Grace Skrzypiec and Dr Mirella Wyra write in the study that some of the interactions students described as “harmless banter” seemed “quite disturbing” to outside observers.

They refer to a Year 10 girl who said it was “just funny” when friends tell each other “I wish you’d die”, “I wish you were murdered”, “I wish you’d drown” or “I wish you’d die in a car crash”.

“We would surmise that it would be difficult to determine where the joke would end and how the friend would respond if any such event should befall one of them,” the researchers write.

“It is of concern that dark humour of this sort, which edges on the precipice of ill-fated tragedy, is the manner in which young people choose to (rather naively) interact for fun.”

The students, from a mix of public and private schools in city and country locations, were asked about the types of aggression they had experienced as well as an open-ended question about how their peers interacted.

Some responded with drawings, cartoons and stories.

“People generally treat people pretty sh**y,” a Year 9 boy wrote. “Students are praised and valued by how mean and careless they can be, and it disgusts me.”

A Year 7 girl wrote that “most people treat others their age like rubbish. The girls usually have more friendship problems,” she said.

“They will pretend they are your bestest friend but when you’re not around they talk rude things about you and make up things you didn’t do.

“For some people it kills them inside.”

Kids who try to “branch out” from their usual social groups were likely to be bullied, said a Year 9 boy who partly blamed teachers.

“There’s just not enough monitoring of what happens at lunch breaks. A lot of young people here don’t get along,” he said.

And a Year 11 girl said: “Everyone is friends with everyone from far away. But the closer you get, you see that everyone is tangled in a web of lies.”

The researchers say schools produce anti-bullying policies but worry that a lack of funds and time-poor staff means that across Australia, “more often than not” they don’t invest in anti-bullying programs.

The community-based approach of the SA Government’s new bullying prevention strategy was a step forward if properly resourced, the researchers say.