You won’t believe what they’re slashing ... and spending ... in the Federal Budget 2014

IT IS cuts galore in the Budget, but are Hockey and Abbott carried away? Here are the things you won’t believe they’re cutting.

CUTS, cuts, cuts, galore.

Treasurer Joe Hockey has slashed and burned his way through his first Budget, killing 230 bureaucratic programs, abolishing 70 government bodies, axing 16,500 public servants, slashing foreign aid ...

But maybe he got a bit carried away. Here are nine eye-popping cuts you won’t believe the government is making:

1 — SCIENCE IS OUT

The government has taken a Bunsen burner flame to three of the country’s bigger science organisations.

The CSIRO, which invented WiFi, Aeroguard and extended-wear contact lenses, will be slashed the most, losing $111.4 million over the next four years. A staggering amount of money.

Australia’s nuclear science body, ANSTO, and the Institute of Marine Science also face hefty multi-million dollar cuts. Who needs science?

Savings: $146.8 million

The CSIRO developed extended wear soft contact lenses.

2 — THE WORD THEY GOT RID OF

Somebody really doesn’t like clean energy. The previous government introduced a small payment called the Clean Energy Supplement to help struggling Australians pay energy costs.

And now the government has dramatically taken the axe to … a single word in the scheme’s name.

It’s now just called the Energy Supplement. Energy for all! At least they didn’t call it the Dirty Energy Supplement.

Savings: One five-letter word, $0.00

3 — GET RID OF THOSE DAMN WINDMILLS

A few weeks ago the Treasurer said wind farms near Canberra were offensive on the eyes.

Well there won’t be many more ... The Australian Renewable Energy Agency is getting the axe. If only he could chop down those dastardly windmills on Lake George.

Savings: $1.3 billion from 2017-18

Joe Hockey REALLY doesn’t like wind farms.

4 — WE’RE NOT GOING TO FIGHT ANIMAL ABUSE

If you’re a member of PETA, avert your sensitive eyes. Australia’s Animal Welfare Strategy will be ditched on July 1 next year. Someone, please, think of the puppies.

Savings: $1.1 million

5 — LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN TEETH

Dental healthcare got ripped in the budget with the major schemes either axed or deferred for several years. Poor old Charles Sturt University in Bathurst even had funding for a dental and oral health clinic pulled. Ouch.

Better brush your teeth more often. You will need it.

Savings: $634 million

Look after those teeth because the government won’t be.

6 — POLICE. WHO NEEDS ‘EM?

Despite getting generous funding back in 2008 for two nifty little programs entitled Sworn Australian Federal Police officers and Australian Federal Police — retention and recruitment, the government chose to save the leftover funds — rather than put more cops on the beat.

Savings: $54.2 million over four years

7 — HUMAN RIGHTS? WHATEVER

The Budget is ending funding for human rights education. They’re also cutting one of the human rights commisioners. If no one knows their rights they won’t complain about it, right? Can’t fault the logic there.

Savings: $3.5 million

The police force will be forced to ditch new recruit programs and cut spending.

8 — BACK TO WORK? NAH

The government has cut a careers’ advice program aimed specifically at parents.

Which seems a bit odd given changes to family support payments are aimed at getting parents back to work the moment their kids hit school age.

Savings: $5.8 million

9 — RUNNING OUT OF PUFF

The National Anti-Tobacco Campaign lost nearly $3 million. Hmmm ... Doesn’t Joe Hockey love cigars?

Savings: $2.9 million

Treasurer Joe Hockey doesn’t want to see wind farms anymore.

If this isn’t enough for you, don’t worry. The Abbott government loves getting rid of laws. So much so, it’s going to hold at least two ‘Repeal Days’ every year where they get rid of red tape.

The first Repeal Day, held earlier this year, got rid of 50,000 pages of legislation. It’s all to “reduce regulatory compliance costs on businesses”.

But equally logic-defying are some of the, uh, interesting, measures they’re introducing. Here’s what escaped the axe:

• $200,000 to bring back Matthew Flinders’ original 1804 Chart of Australia. Don’t we have Google Maps?

• Students are getting smashed left right and centre except for ballet students in Melbourne, who will get their own residence worth $1 million.

Ballerinas do need their beauty sleep.

• The mushroom spawn levy has DOUBLED. How has this happened?!

• ‘Lodge refurbishment’— The Lodge has some issues, we know that. The place needs some work. The PM’s digs aren’t exactly the Elysee Palace, so it’s being refurbished. The interesting thing is they won’t tell us HOW MUCH it’s going to cost. The budget contains three big letters NFP (not for publication) where the numbers should be. Why? “The cost of this measure is not for publication due to commercial-in-confidence considerations”.

All of a sudden, the cost of The Lodge refurbishment is a national secret.

What do you think of the cuts included in the Federal Budget? Leave a comment below or continue the conversation on Twitter | @newscomauHQ

Originally published as You won’t believe what they’re slashing ... and spending ... in the Federal Budget 2014