‘Really tough’: 29-year-old reveals why she feels like she’s starting over again
Imagine if the entire salary you used to live off disappeared overnight. For one Aussie working mum, that was her reality.
Economy
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Imagine if the entire salary you used to live off disappeared overnight. For Bronte Towns, that was her reality after she separated from her husband.
Ms Towns, lives in Queensland. She’s a single mum to four kids and feels like she’s “starting over” after her break-up.
“It has been really tough because I don’t think anyone goes into a relationship and has kids thinking it’ll end-up this way,” she told news.com.au.
“I’m not only navigating being single, and a single mum, but there’s also the financials because my husband was the breadwinner.”
The 29-year-old said that the natural reaction to a big relationship ending is to go on a holiday, move away, or create some space, but when you’re going through a separation and there are children involved, that isn’t an option.
“When you’ve got kids, you can’t do that, and you have to face everything there and then,” she said.
Ms Towns, who describes herself online as an “honest mum,” has racked up over a million likes on TikTok by sharing her life without any gloss.
She doesn’t want to be an aspirational mummy blogger. Instead, she wants to help other mums not feel so alone.
When her relationship ended, she started sharing what that felt like, to go from feeling financially secure and stable to suddenly navigating life as a single parent.
“When my marriage ended, I also lost my financial security; half the time I get with my kids, and I left the family home,” she said.
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Ms Towns said that during her break-up, she felt “ashamed, judged, and disappointed,” but she’s working on building a new life that she’s in full control of and can be proud of.
Even though she’s always been a working mum, it has been a huge adjustment to go from living off two salaries to one.
She used to work in administration, but after the break-up, she’s now doing social media and cleaning to support herself.
She admitted that she was “scared” at the prospect of suddenly having to earn more money while also being a hands-on mum to her four kids, but she’s finding her feet.
She said that while it is emotionally hard, she’s got her kids one week and then one week off, and she can live relatively cheaply when it is just herself, so that has helped but it has been a hard experience.
It took her over four months to find a suitable rental in her price range that was close to her ex and within 15 minutes of their schooling.
“It is tough,” she said.
“I was also looking for a family home and everyone wants a three-bedroom,” she said
When she started looking, she thought she’d be spending around $500 per week, but it quickly ballooned to over $700.
“The hard part is when you’re are looking for rentals. I had to find a house appropriate for the kids, which entails high rent,” she said.
“I originally thought I’d get something for $500 but there was just nothing.”
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Ms Towns said she spoke to agents, who said her application was good, but unfortunately, it was just “so competitive.” So when she landed a place for $770, she was just relieved to find somewhere.
She said she was in a fortunate position because, before her separation from her husband, they’d just sold a property.
“We had money, and we were able to split, and it gave me a backbone,” she said.
“It is still stressful because I have to figure out how to do it on my own in the long term. Before the house sold, I didn’t know how I was going to do it.”
“If it weren’t for savings I would be struggling a lot more. I’m using savings to float myself while I keep building my business and work on other endeavours.”
Ms Towns said the bright side of her heartbreak is that she feels like she’s finding herself again and doing things for herself.
“I’m going and doing things, and I’m putting myself out there and trying to make some new girlfriends, and I’ve really got to myself,” she said.
She said it has also been rewarding to see how much her content has resonated with other mums who feel “trapped” in relationships.
She hopes that by sharing that she can do it, other mums will feel empowered and know that even though it is tough, they can also start over.
Originally published as ‘Really tough’: 29-year-old reveals why she feels like she’s starting over again
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