Mum discovers gambling addicted-husband’s $140,000 debt

Barefoot delivers harsh advice to a ‘very nervous mum’ who just discovered her husband has racked up $140,000 in gambling debts and wants to sell the family home - again.

Scott Pape is The Barefoot Investor. Picture: Jason Edwards

“Where the bloody hell is he?” I yelled.

Our Japanese exchange student, Yasuaki, was missing.

“He’s gone?! But he’s only been here for a few hours, and we’ve already lost him!” shrieked Liz.

Panic set in.

You see, at night, on the farm, it’s pitch black. There are no street lights. No noise. Just darkness.

I ran frantically around the yard.

Nothing.

As I turned the corner towards the dam, I saw him … standing in his pyjamas, staring up at the stars.

Yasuaki is from Shibuya High School in downtown Tokyo, home to the world’s busiest pedestrian junction – where 3,000 people cross every two minutes. And now he found himself on our farm with a sky full of shiny diamonds … and Wolf Creek-like silence.

“It’s very … different here”, he said as he retreated to his bedroom.

Yasuaki, the Demon's newest fan.

He was right. It was the polar opposite of his life back home – and I made sure of it:

We taught him to drive around the farm. We took him yabbying. We got him rounding up the sheep. We took him to the MCG to watch the Demons. (We sat behind some ferals who were half-cut by quarter-time. On the upside, he now knows that a maggot isn’t just an insect.)

The other day Yasuaki and his fellow exchange student Nagi came home after a hot day at school.

“Can you boys swim?” Liz asked.

“Little bit …” Yasuaki said nervously.

“That means ‘no’, Liz!” I shouted. “Better whack life vests on them before they jump into the dam. We don’t need an international incident.”

Yet it wasn’t just the experiences he was having that were different, it was also his sleeping quarters:

Australia has the largest homes in the world (fun fact: Canberra homes are the largest in the world at 256.3 sqm, according to research by UK company Buildworld). Of course we need the world’s biggest houses because we have a heap of ‘stuff’ to jam into them. (Actually we have too much stuff, which explains why the self-storage industry is booming.)

Contrast this to Yasuaki, who lives in a tiny apartment with his parents and brother. They don’t have much stuff because they don’t have much room. Yet what they have is generally of a much higher quality. And, judging by the way he vacuumed his room, he takes much better care of it.

When I asked Yasuaki if he thought he’d like to eventually buy a home, I may as well have asked him what flavour of soy sauce he prefers. He seemed genuinely perplexed as to why I even cared about something so trivial:

“Maybe. I mean, I don’t know. My parents rent. It’s fine”, he said.

Again, the polar opposite reaction you’d get from most young people here. Part of that can be put down to the ‘lost decades’. When Yasuaki’s parents were his age they experienced one of the great property bubbles and busts in history. Homes (and the share market) fell off a cliff in the early 90s, and kept falling. Or, as Yasuaki explained it to me, “They went down, down, down!”

Having Yasuaki in our home was like having a better behaved and more obedient version of our kids. A student exchange is a window into our world … yet we also got a peek into his life too.

Tread Your Own Path!

Yasuaki and his mate Nagi having the time of their lives (plus Barefoot’s six-year-old daughter – sans life jacket).

About Last Week

Last week I scored a trifecta: I managed to upset people in three ways. First, for my supposed ‘anti-immigration stance’, second, for hating on Elon Musk (the bromance is still strong with some readers, even though his car company is as bad as the rest in terms of spying on drivers), and finally from animal lovers (one lady threatened to report me to the RSPCA for cruelty to sheep … even though I was just using an analogy. Baaaah!). Here’s one:

You’re A Racist Bigot, Barefoot

Scott

I’ve just read your piece on limiting immigration because of the housing crisis. What a load of claptrap. You’ve taken a complex and highly emotive issue and boiled it down to one simplistic factor: housing.

As you know (though it doesn’t fit your populist argument) it’s much more nuanced than that. Why are these ‘sheep’ fleeing their countries? What economic GOOD will these migrants do for our country, both now and in the future? Your dinky, populist piece stunk of both racism and NIMBY-ism (Not In My Back Yard). Do better.

Yvonne

Barefoot says there are practically zero rentals available for people in the bottom 30% of income earners.

Hi Yvonne,

Thank you for your feedback. There were hundreds of people who shared your sentiments, but I think you nailed me the best (or worst).

The truth is I am a very simple person.

When you’re looking at something as complex as the economy, and how we govern for 26 million people, I think you need to come back to first principles.

And for me it’s this: I strongly believe that secure affordable housing is a basic human right, especially given we live in the richest country on Earth. It all begins at home. And right now there are practically zero rentals available for people in the bottom 30% of income earners, who are the people who traditionally rent.

That’s a crisis many years in the making, and one that hasn’t been caused by hardworking immigrants. As I said in the column, the solution is, to use your word ‘nuanced’ and multifaceted: expand the supply of new homes, end tax breaks that favour investors, and build a lot more social and community housing.

We’re in a hole. It’s time to stop digging.

Meth Money

Scott,

My husband has just confessed that we have $140,000 worth of debt. I only knew about a quarter of it. The rest is gambling debt. We sold our first home to get out of debt and help us buy our current home and get a Mojo account. That lasted less than five months. Before I knew it, it was all gone. Now I find out that not only have we chewed through every cent we own, and are barely living paycheque to paycheque, but we now are in $140,000 worth of debt. Again. Now he wants to sell the house in order to pay off the debt, buy a new car, set up a savings account, have money to go on holiday overseas to see his family, etc – then look at buying a house in the future. My honest opinion? I am so scared. What do we do? What can we do? I cannot go to our family as they will judge me more than you can imagine.

From a very nervous mum.

While gambling addicts are in the grip of addiction they’re likely going to blow any money they can get their hands on.

Hello

Years ago I trained with a guy at my gym who was superbly fit. He worked out religiously every day (and pushed me to do the same), smoked meth most nights, and obsessively tracked his macronutrients.

Wait … what?

Yes, the guy was a meth addict.

When he told me (after a few months of training together) he explained that it wasn’t a big deal and that he was “self-medicating for his ADHD”.

It was clear to me that all the burpees and broccoli wouldn’t balance out the toxins he was putting into his body each night – but he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see it. He was too caught up in the addiction.

You said that your husband has gambling debts. That’s the equivalent of monetary methamphetamines. Only gambling addicts have gambling debts. And while he’s in the grip of this addiction he’s likely going to blow any money he can get his hands on.

Please re-read that last sentence again.

It doesn’t matter what he says. Or his plans for the future. The only thing that matters is that he has the courage to admit that he has a mental health problem (that manifests as gambling) and that he takes steps to get help by calling the National Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858.

Good luck.

DISCLAIMER: Information and opinions provided in this column are general in nature and have been prepared for educational purposes only. Always seek personal financial advice tailored to your specific needs before making financial and investment decisions.

Originally published as Mum discovers gambling addicted-husband’s $140,000 debt